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Uninvited Announcement

Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into my office. “Great news, Scott!” ... Read More »

Bosses versus workers

When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please ... Read More »

Running a small business

Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. “I started a new practice last year,” the first one said. “I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months.” “Why in the world would you do that?” the other asked. She responded, “It’s the best way I can learn ... Read More »

Best balls

Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did. “I hit two of my best balls,” he said. “Tell me about it,” said his co-worker. “I stepped on a rake.” Read More »

Work telephones

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting. Dad: “People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.” Mum: “Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.” Maid: “So ... Read More »

Keynote

A boss was educating an employee on effective sales technique. “The main thing to remember is that repetition, repetition, repetition is the keynote!” he advised. “If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every possible way, cram it down people’s throats and beat them over the head with it! Above all, don’t ever forget to repeat ... Read More »

Discrimination

Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” To which they all turn to look ... Read More »

Wise Words

Employee: “Sir, what is the secret of your success?” Manager: “Two words.” Employee: “And, Sir, what are they?” Manager: “Right decisions.” Employee: “And how do you make right decisions?” Manager: “One word.” Employee: “And, What is that?” Manager: “Experience.” Employee: “And how do you get Experience?” Manager: “Two words.” Employee: “And, Sir, what are they?” Manager: “Wrong decisions.” Read More »

Help Wanted

The candidate was interviewing for a job at a phone answer center and was asked to make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green. After thinking about it for a couple of minutes, the reply was, “When the phone goes GREEN, GREEN, GREEN, I PINK up the phone and say YELLOW!” She got the job. Read More »

Dear Alcohol

Dear Alcohol, We had a deal… you would make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer. I just saw the video of the company Christmas party. WE NEED TO TALK! Read More »

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