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Keynote

A boss was educating an employee on effective sales technique. “The main thing to remember is that repetition, repetition, repetition is the keynote!” he advised. “If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every possible way, cram it down people’s throats and beat them over the head with it! Above all, don’t ever forget to repeat ... Read More »

Discrimination

Boss, to four of his employees: “I’m really sorry, but I’m going to have to let one of you go.” Black Employee: “I’m a protected minority.” Female Employee: “And I’m a woman.” Oldest Employee: “Fire me, buster, and I’ll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it’ll make your head spin.” To which they all turn to look ... Read More »

Wise Words

Employee: “Sir, what is the secret of your success?” Manager: “Two words.” Employee: “And, Sir, what are they?” Manager: “Right decisions.” Employee: “And how do you make right decisions?” Manager: “One word.” Employee: “And, What is that?” Manager: “Experience.” Employee: “And how do you get Experience?” Manager: “Two words.” Employee: “And, Sir, what are they?” Manager: “Wrong decisions.” Read More »

Help Wanted

The candidate was interviewing for a job at a phone answer center and was asked to make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green. After thinking about it for a couple of minutes, the reply was, “When the phone goes GREEN, GREEN, GREEN, I PINK up the phone and say YELLOW!” She got the job. Read More »

Dear Alcohol

Dear Alcohol, We had a deal… you would make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer. I just saw the video of the company Christmas party. WE NEED TO TALK! Read More »

According to..

A party of economists was climbing in the Alps. After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun. Finally he said, “OK see that big mountain over there?” “Yes,” answered the others eagerly. “Well, according to the ... Read More »

Why Did You Leave?

A lady is at a job interview for a receptionist position. “I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?” “Well, I just couldn’t win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessional.” Read More »

Corporate Joke

At a meeting, the corporate manager told a joke. Everyone on the team laughed except one guy. The manager asked him, “Didn’t you understand my joke?” The guy replied, “Oh I understood it, but I resigned yesterday.” Read More »

Late for Work

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well ... Read More »

Get to work!

A guy runs into his office, wearing only a hat and carrying a briefcase. His boss stops him and says, “What are you doing, Cliff? Do you realize you’re naked? Shouldn’t this be your day off?” Cliff calmly explains that he was on a party when suddenly the lights went out. Some voice said, “Gentleman, take off your ties.” Somebody ... Read More »

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