Old Age Jokes | Hot Jokes

Ice Cream

An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, “I am going to get a dish of ice cream now.” Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. “I’ll write it down so you don’t forget,” she said. “I won’t forget,” the old gent said. “But, I want chocolate […] More

Wet Smokers

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 1: What’s that? Lady 2: A condom. Lady 1: Where’d you get it? Lady 2: You can get […] More

Cookies

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort […] More

Social Security Office

An old man goes into the Social Security Office and fills out an application. Too old to have a birth certificate, he is asked to prove he is old enough. He opens his shirt and shows them the gray hair on his chest and they accept that as proof. He goes home to his wife, […] More

Citizen bus tour

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, “Driver, I believe that I was se_xually harassed!” The driver didn’t think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that very […] More

Silent

An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her. She leaned across to her husband and whispered, “I’ve just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” He said, “I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid.” More

While on a road trip, an elder

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table. And, she didn’t miss them until after they had been driving about twenty minutes. By then, […] More

Don’t Mess With Seniors

A 75-year-old man made the trip back to his old college to take one last look around campus again before he settled in to retired life. As he got to the student quad he saw a young man studying hard, bringing back memories. He sat on the bench beside the lad, but was surprised when […] More

The Worst Age

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!” “Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet […] More

You gotta love…

After working most of her life Grandma finally retired. At her nextcheckup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicinesthat had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as herealized she had a prescription for birth control pills. “Mrs. Smith, doyou […] More

With Age Comes Wisdom

A guy is 72 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up.” He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up.” He looked in the […] More

A special celebration…

While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the “good old days.” Eventually, the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, “Roy, aren’t you […] More

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