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Nice flowers!

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.” His wife was thrilled by this new display ... Read More »

Trip to the mall

On a trip to the mall, a couple agreed to split up, visit their favorite shops and meet up again in an hour and a half. So while he visited the bike shop and the sporting goods store, she concentrated on the biggest clothing store. When he met up with her ninety minutes later as arranged outside the clothing store, ... Read More »

You aren’t the first doctor..

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, “Howard. Don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients ... Read More »

True bravery

True bravery is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out with the boys, then being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: “Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?” Read More »

Anger management

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush. Read More »

Communicative type

Paul picked this woman up in a nightclub and took her home. While they were walking home he didn’t say a thing. “You’re not the communicative type, are you?” she said as they were undressing. “Nah,” Paul replied and pulled out his old fella. “I do all my talking with this.” “Damn,” said the girl as she leaned forward to ... Read More »

Live until ninety

“Do you think I shall live until I’m ninety, doctor?” “How old are you now?” “Forty.” “Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or have you any vices of any kind?” “No. I don’t drink, I never gamble, I loathe smoking; in fact, I don’t have any vices.” “Well, good heavens, what do you want to live another fifty years for?” Read More »

Dear Alcohol

Dear Alcohol, We had a deal… you would make me prettier, funnier and a better dancer. I just saw the video of the company Christmas party. WE NEED TO TALK! Read More »

Celebrating

Christmas was over. Santa and his reindeer finally had a chance to rest. And they deserved it. They had done a good job. Rudolph had a chance to do something he had wanted to do for a long time. He made an appointment with a plastic surgeon because he was so sensitive about his looks. However, it wasn’t his glowing ... Read More »

Santa Claus

Santa Claus needed a vacation. He decided to go to Texas because it was warm and he had heard that the people were friendly. As soon as he arrived in town, people began to point and say, “Look! The big red one! Isn’t he someone famous?” Santa thought, “Gee, I’ll never get any rest if people star asking to sit ... Read More »

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