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Just the Past

Wife goes to an astrologer to learn more about her husband. The astrologer asks her, “Do you want to know about your husband’s future?” Without hesitation, the wife responds. “I will decide his future, you just tell me about his past.” Read More »

Expensive Lessons

A father was buying bass lessons for his son. After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, “On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string.” The 2nd week came and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, “On the 2nd lesson I learned ... Read More »

Just One Among Us

A public speaker could not believe his eyes when he saw just one man among the audience. Nevertheless, he decided to go ahead with his speech. He asked him the reason for coming attending his speech. The man replied, β€œIt’s a hot day out there. The air conditioning is pretty good in here.” Read More »

Carpet Installation and… replacement

A man was carpeting his living room, and once finished, he couldn’t find his pack of cigarettes. Then he saw the lump in the middle of the carpet. He decided he didn’t want to pull up the new carpet for one pack of smokes, so he took his hammer and pounded the lump flat. His wife came in the room ... Read More »

Scavenger hunt

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. “Ma’am,” he explained, “I’m on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.” “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?” “My babysitter’s ... Read More »

Small head

An old man with a cue ball sized head is sitting at the bar. “Excuse me,” says the guy next to him. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I noticed you have an extremely small head. Is that a birth defect?” The old man says, “No my ship was torpedoed by the Germans in World War II. I was ... Read More »

Best balls

Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did. “I hit two of my best balls,” he said. “Tell me about it,” said his co-worker. “I stepped on a rake.” Read More »

Faith healer

Two women were sitting in the doctor’s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders. “I want a baby more than anything in the world,” said the first, “But I guess it is impossible.” “I used to feel just the same way,” said the second. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to have a baby in ... Read More »

The New SUV

Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, “My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV.” Other guy responded, “Wow, that’s amazing! Imagine that, an SUV… what a great gift!” “Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!” Read More »

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