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Cannibal Feast

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief said, “Yeah.” When ... Read More »

It’s For The Dog

When our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment… an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. “Believe ... Read More »

Why did you laugh?

There were three men who got stranded on an island. A group of cannibals found the three men and took them to their place in the tropical rainforest of an island. The cannibals told the three men to go in the rainforest and find ten of the same fruits each. So the three of them went into the woods to ... Read More »

Very nice

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and more piercings than they wanted to count. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. “Dear,” said the mother diplomatically, “he doesn’t seem very nice.” “Oh please, Mom,” replied the ... Read More »

The Brave Wife

A husband and wife entered a dentist’s office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The wife turns to her husband and says, ... Read More »

The postman

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives. One woman said, “I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does.” The second woman giggled and confessed, “I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft.” The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friend asked, “Say, ... Read More »

The young wife

The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude. “That’s OK with me, honey,” says her husband. “I’ll go get some wood for the fire.” About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the ... Read More »

Midday Surprise

The week we got our puppy, I caught a stomach bug and stayed home from work one day. That afternoon, my wife called to check up on me. “I’m okay,” I said. “But guess who pooped in the dining room?” My wife’s response, “Who?” Read More »

Who’s counting

A lady called up a pet store and said, “I’d like to order 2,000 cockroaches.” “What in the world do you want with 2,000 cockroaches?” asked the astonished clerk. “Well,” she replied, “I am moving today, and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found it.” Read More »

Where’s Mom and dad?

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and dad?” and she replied, “They’re up in bed.” The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and Dad?” and she replied, “They’re still up ... Read More »

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