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  • Park Bench

    Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Vǐagra?” Grandpa looks at him and says, “No Johnny, I will not.” “But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, “Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you […] More

  • Chicken or the egg

    A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette,with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!” More

  • Call To Sarge

    Two policemen call the station on their radio. “Hello. ….. Is this the Sarge?” “Yes?” “We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped.” “Have you arrested the woman?” “No sir. The floor is still wet.” More

  • Wish Comes True

    Carlos told his wife he wanted a guitar to play while sitting in the Jacuzzi. “The next day she bought him an electric guitar.” More

  • Taxes

    A Dutchman was explaining the red, white and blue Netherlands flag to an American. “Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them.” The American nodded. “It’s the same in the USA only we see stars […] More

  • No worry

    A wife is having se x with her husband’s best friend one day. Soon the phone rings, so she answers it. “Yes… uh, huh… OK… yes… bye.” Her husband’s best friend says: “Who was it?” “That was my husband,” she replied. The man jumped out of bed, and tried to put on his clothes in […] More

  • Hospital Trolley

    A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything […] More

  • The Baloonist

    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am..’ The man below replied, ‘You’re […] More

  • Success

    A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder. He reached a cloud, upon which sat a rather plump and very ugly woman. “Screw me or climb the ladder to success,” she said. No contest, thought the man, […] More

  • Organic

    My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market. I went and looked around and couldn’t find any. So I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and said, “These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?” “The produce guy looked at me and said, “No. You’ll have […] More

  • In-flight Service !

    On a long haul UK flight, a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would come back for him, in five minutes. However, he was finished in two minutes so he left the toilet and wandered off down the aisle, in the opposite direction from where his mother was. Meanwhile, […] More

  • Lost credit card

    A man says to his friend: “My wife’s credit card got stolen last week.” “That’s a shame,” says the friend: “have you told the police?” “No way,” says the man: “the thief is spending less than she did!” More

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