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  • What?!?

    A plumber was called to woman’s apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived, he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite beautiful and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly. About 5:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom shenanigans. “That was my husband,” […] More

  • No bike

    For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a […] More

  • No waves

    A wealthy gentleman is taking a sea voyage around the world. After the first night at sea he walks onto the deck and says to the captain, “The sea is so calm. No waves at all. Why has the ship been wobbling the whole night.” “We’ve got five couples of newly-weds on board…” More

  • Unable to serve

    A man walked into a restaurant and saw a sign that read, “We’ll give you $300 if we’re unable to serve you any entree you order.” He sat down and told the waitress he wanted elephant liver on rye. The waitress took the order and left. All of a sudden, the man heard terrible noises […] More

  • Treat a cough

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I […] More

  • Barbershop

    A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client […] More

  • I figured..

    One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted-living apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything […] More

  • With on one hand

    “How are you doing?” said a young guy bumping into his friend at the bar. “I was fine…until last night.” “Why? What happened?” “My girlfriend and I were talking about how many people we had slept with.” “Oh, what did she say?” “She said she could count the number of guys she’s slept with on […] More

  • Efficiency study

    We noticed that all the waiters in this New York restaurant carried two spoons in their vest pocket. Naturally, we were curious. We asked a waiter why. ‘Sir, as a result of an efficiency study by the management, it was determined that the most frequently dropped silverware item was a spoon. Therefore, all the waiters […] More

  • Oh no you’re not!

    “First,” said the playboy, “I’m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.” “Oh no you’re not,” said the girl. “Then I’ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.” “Oh no you’re not.” “Then I’ll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.” […] More

  • I would like to try it

    Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The driver says, “That is great. Me and my wife do that every night.” The passenger replies, “My wife is conservative, she likes the old fashioned way. But if you tell me how you get your wife to […] More

  • Sick

    Billy Bob started a new construction job on a Tuesday, worked the rest of the week and on the following Monday morning, calls his foreman. “Boss, I’m not gonna make it in today…I’m sick.” He shows up Tuesday morning, works the rest of the week and the following Monday, sure enough, he calls the foreman. […] More

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