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Intelligent Car Radio

A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer. Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and began to excitedly explain that ... Read More »

Barber shop

President George Bush and President Barack Obama ended up at the barbershop at the same time. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had President ... Read More »

Which one

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist! Read More »

Bush vs. Osama

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dogfight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female ... Read More »

Vote for Me

A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell. The party waiting behind her was a group of politicians. A Congressman quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet. She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, “I’m the local MP and I hope you’ll vote for me in the next General Elections.” ... Read More »

370HSSV-0773H

Last week Putin received a coded message, reportedly from Ukrainian Parliament. It read: 370HSSV-0773H Putin was stumped and asked his Prime minister what the message could mean. The minister was totally stumped too, so they passed it to the top russian programmers, who spent 2 days trying to decipher it. Knackered, the programmers sent it to the Secret Police. The ... Read More »

Half

A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid-session and begins to shout, “Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long ... Read More »

Once Upon A Time

A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with “Once Upon A Time?” “No,” he replied. “A whole lot of them begin with ‘If elected, I promise …'” Read More »

Try that

Dear Boss, I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about. Despite this I plan to take ... Read More »

Going to fight

A political candidate stood on a platform and announced to the assembled crowd that he was going to fight radicalism, socialism, communism, and anarchism. One old man snorted and said, “I’ll vote for you when you can do something about rheumatism.” Read More »

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