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Prayers

A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, “Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?” A little boy answered: “My Mommy says my prayers.” “I see,” said the teacher, “and what does your Mother say?” Replied the little boy: “THANK GOD HE’S IN BED!” Read More »

Some tips

A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe how he does and give some tips. After listening in on the second confession, the older priest suggested that the younger man fold his arms, maybe rub his chin with one hand while saying phrases like “I see” or “I understand” or “Yes, my child. ... Read More »

Man On A Desert Island

A man was finally rescued, after having been on a deserted island for 10 years. The first question he was asked was why there were three huts on the island if he was alone. He replied, “The first one is my home, the second is my church and the third is the church I used to attend.” Read More »

Keep On Pulling

A preacher was looking for a good used lawnmower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. “This mower work, son?” the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, “Sure does, just pull on the cord hard, though.” The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and ... Read More »

God Is With Us

Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, “What do you think you are doing?“ “What if you have an accident? The priests say, “Don’t worry, my son. God is with us.” The policeman says, “In that case, I have to book you. Three people are not allowed to ride ... Read More »

The Priest and the Hair Dryer

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?” “Of course. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? ... Read More »

Dear God..

Dear God, so far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, and I haven’t lost my temper. I haven’t been grumpy, nasty or selfish, and I’m really glad of that! But in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot of help. Thank you! Amen. Read More »

Vatican Fried Chicken

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from “Give us this day our daily bread” to “Give us this day our daily chicken,” and Kentucky Fried Chicken will donate $10,000,000 to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later, the man approached the Pope again ... Read More »

Lord, Don’t Let Me Be Late!

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!”As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty ... Read More »

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