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A Child’s Prayer

While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child’s voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child’s words. When I spotted a girl perched on a rock, I realized why her words had made no sense: She was repeating the alphabet. “Why are you saying your ABC’s so many times?” I ... Read More »

The Rope

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that ... Read More »

Best Sermon

After years of his wife’s pleading, this rich good ole’ boy finally goes with her to her little local Church on Sunday morning. He was so moved by the preacher’s sermon that on the way out he stopped to shake his hand. He said, “Reverend, that was the best damn sermon I ever did hear!” The Preacher replied, “Oh!! Why, ... Read More »

Does God Exist?

A Christian and an atheist were neighbors. The Christian one day yells, “Lord please sends me food”. The atheist heard this and replies, “There is no GOD!” The next day the Christian wakes up and goes to her porch to find that there were bags of groceries. She yells, “Thank You LORD for this food!” As soon as soon as ... Read More »

Drunk and arthritis

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk’s shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the ... Read More »

Clocks

Hillary Clinton died and went to Heaven. St. Peter was giving her a tour of Heaven when she noticed that there were dozens of clocks on the wall. Each clock displayed a different time of day. When she asked St. Peter about the clocks, he replied, ”We have a clock for each person on earth and every time they tell ... Read More »

God will save me..

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?” The preacher calmly said, “No, God will save me.” A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, “Hey, do you need help?” The preacher replied again, “No God will save me.” Eventually the ... Read More »

The Pope and KFC Deal

When KFC sales hit a lean patch, Colonel Sanders came up with a brilliant advertising idea. He got in touch with the Pope and asked the pontiff whether he could change the words of the Lord’s Prayer from “Give us this day a daily bread” to “Give us this day a daily chicken.” “I can’t possibly do that,” said the ... Read More »

A Good Smoke

Bob and Jim are walking to services. Bob asks, “I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?” “Why don’t you ask the rabbi?” says Jim. Bob sees the Rabbi and asks, “Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?” “No, you may not. That’s utterly disrespectful to our tradition!” answers the rabbi. Bob ... Read More »

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