Lay you or

Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants, Jack or Jane.
They go back and forth but can’t decide who to lay off. Finally, one manager decides that they lay off the first person who gets up from their desk.
In the meantime, Jane is hard at work but suddenly gets a headache. She gets some aspirin from her desk drawer and gets up from her desk to get some water. One of the managers gets up to break the bad news to Jane.
Manager: “Jane, I need to talk to you. I’ve got a problem. I either need to lay you or Jack off…”
Jane: “Well, Jack off. I’ve got a headache.”

Seven days to live

Man of The House