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Monthly Archives: August 2014

The Skin Graft

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have ... Read More »

Jesus is Watching!

A burglar has just made it into the house he’s intending ransacking, and he’s looking around for stuff to steal. All of a sudden, a little voice pipes up, “I can see you, and so can Jesus!” Startled, the burglar looks around the room. No one there at all, so he goes back to his business. “I can see you, ... Read More »

Don’t be Smart with Kids!

In a Nursery School Canteen, there was a basket of Apples with a notice written over it: Do not take more than one, God is watching. On the other counter there was a box of chocolates. A small child went & wrote on it: Take as many as u want, God is busy watching the Apples. Moral: NEVER ACT SMART ... Read More »

Kiss

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?” “No, I don’t,” said the little boy “Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing your daddy wants from your ... Read More »

Who I am

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Jonestown wakes up early and goes to their local church. Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives and their families. Suddenly, at the altar, Satan appears!! Everyone starts screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in their determined efforts to get ... Read More »

Material Damage

A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” “You yuppies are so materialistic, it’s ridiculous” retorted the officer. “You’re so worried ... Read More »

Life on the Moon

Shortly after his spaceship landed on the moon, the astronaut debarked and began exploring the strange new terrain. He had walked for only fifteen minutes when he came upon a lovely young moon girl, who was busily stirring the contents of a meteoroid pot. “Hi,” he said, introducing himself. “I’m an astronaut, here to discover everything I can about life ... Read More »

Safe Driver Award

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money?” He thought ... Read More »

Number Jokes

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the whole cell block breaks out ... Read More »

Bee Between Legs

A young couple went to a nude beach on a sunny day. They got rid of all their clothes and lay down. Suddenly a bee flew into the woman’s vag├Čna, and as you all might guess it wasn’t very pleasant! So,they rushed to the nearest hospital where the local Doc tries to solve the problem. He suggested putting honey on ... Read More »

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