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Monthly Archives: August 2014

Don’t be Smart with Kids!

In a Nursery School Canteen, there was a basket of Apples with a notice written over it: Do not take more than one, God is watching. On the other counter there was a box of chocolates. A small child went & wrote on it: Take as many as u want, God is busy watching the Apples. Moral: NEVER ACT SMART ... Read More »

Material Damage

A yuppie was opening the door of his BMW when a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie complained bitterly about the damage to his car. “Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beemer!” “You yuppies are so materialistic, it’s ridiculous” retorted the officer. “You’re so worried ... Read More »

Life on the Moon

Shortly after his spaceship landed on the moon, the astronaut debarked and began exploring the strange new terrain. He had walked for only fifteen minutes when he came upon a lovely young moon girl, who was busily stirring the contents of a meteoroid pot. “Hi,” he said, introducing himself. “I’m an astronaut, here to discover everything I can about life ... Read More »

Safe Driver Award

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money?” He thought ... Read More »

Number Jokes

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, “Number twelve!” The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, “Number four!” Again, the whole cell block breaks out ... Read More »

Bee Between Legs

A young couple went to a nude beach on a sunny day. They got rid of all their clothes and lay down. Suddenly a bee flew into the woman’s vag├Čna, and as you all might guess it wasn’t very pleasant! So,they rushed to the nearest hospital where the local Doc tries to solve the problem. He suggested putting honey on ... Read More »

Punishment

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs. With the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, the preacher prayed, “O ... Read More »

600 Story Hotel

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high. Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes. The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad ... Read More »

Celebrating

While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, “This is a special day. I’m celebrating.” “I’m celebrating, too,” she replied, clinking glasses with him. “What are you celebrating?” he asked. “For years I’ve been trying ... Read More »

All for free

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. ... Read More »

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