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    Stop Fooling Around !

    A guy sitting in a bar is really looking nervous. Every time the door opens he jumps. Every time there is a noise he cringes. The bartender after watching this for an hour finally goes over and asks, “What’s the matter with you?” “Well I received a letter today that said if I didn’t stop […] More

  • The Happy Hangover

    Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company’s Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn’t taste like alcohol at all. He didn’t even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to […] More

  • Pirate visits bar

    A pirate was talking to a “land-luvver” in a bar. The land-luvver noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The land-luvver just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He […] More

  • Charge by the inch

    Having had one too many, a bar drinker was beginning to display an ugly side. An unescorted female sat down beside him and he whispered to her, “Hey! How about it babe? You and me?” As she got up to move, he said loudly, “Honey, you sure look like you could use the money, but […] More

  • Impressive Talent

    The young man was on his first date with the gorgeous young woman and decided to impress her with his abilities in wine tasting. He told the wine steward to bring a bottle of 1985 Sterling Cabernet Sauvignon from their Carneros district vineyard. Upon tasting the wine, the young man scolded the wine steward, “This […] More

  • Winning toast

    Patrick hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of me wife!” And with that he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night. In bed later that night, he told his wife: “Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of […] More

  • Irish Tradition

    Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more. The barman says, “You know a pint goes flat soon […] More

  • Wife’s love

    Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced: “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” “What makes you say that?” the bartender inquired. “Last week,” Bill explained, “I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have […] More

  • All in the Name!

    A guy walk into a bar and he orders a whiskey. He sits down and just before he takes a sip of his whiskey a guy runs in and says, “Bill! Your house burnt down!” So he runs outside but then he thinks, “I don’t have a house.” So he goes back into the bar […] More

  • The Usual Tip

    Johnny paid his way through college by being a waiter in a restaurant. “What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer. “Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.” “Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, […] More

  • Golden Saloon

    A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where the hell have you been all night?” she demands. “At this new bar,” he says. “The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It’s got huge golden doors, a […] More

  • What do you have?

    A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?” The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.” The bartender says, “What do you have?” The guy says, “75 cents.” More

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