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Monthly Archives: August 2014

Punishment

A country preacher decided to skip services one Sunday to spend the day hiking in the wilderness. Rounding a sharp bend in the trail, he collided with a bear and was sent tumbling down a steep grade. He landed on a rock and broke both legs. With the ferocious bear charging at him from a distance, the preacher prayed, “O ... Read More »

600 Story Hotel

Tom, Dick and Harry went to a party. After the party they returned to the hotel. The hotel was 600 stories high. Unfortunately for them, the elevator was not working. They made a plan for the first 200 stories, Tom will crack jokes. The second 200 stories Dick will tell a happy story and lastly Harry will tell a sad ... Read More »

Celebrating

While the bar patron savored a double martini, an attractive women sat down next to him. The bartender served her a glass of orange juice, and the man turned to her and said, “This is a special day. I’m celebrating.” “I’m celebrating, too,” she replied, clinking glasses with him. “What are you celebrating?” he asked. “For years I’ve been trying ... Read More »

All for free

It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it? Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16. She agreed. ... Read More »

A Burger or a Kiss

Wife: Can you help me in the gardening ? Husband: What do you think I am… a gardener ? Wife: Can you fix the door handle ? Husband: What do you think I am… a Carpenter ? In the evening, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed. Husband: Who did all this ? Wife: Our neighbour. ... Read More »

Man of The House

Tony had just finished reading a new book entitled, ‘You Can Be The Man of Your House.’ He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, ‘From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating ... Read More »

Lay you or

Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants, Jack or Jane. They go back and forth but can’t decide who to lay off. Finally, one manager decides that they lay off the first person who ... Read More »

Seven days to live

Doctor: “I’ve got some bad news and some really bad news. The bad news is you only have a week to live.” Patient: “What could be worse news than that?” Doctor: “I’ve been trying to contact you for the last 6 days.” Read More »

Prisoner

The bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything about se x. Can you explain it to me first?” “OK, Sweetheart, putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison. And then they ... Read More »

Beyond the Call of Duty

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said the teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy, confidently. “Means carrying a child.” Read More »

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