August 2014

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Lay you or

    Two managers are going over their budget for the next year. After analyzing expenses and revenues, they come to the conclusion that they will have to lay off one of their two assistants, Jack or Jane. They go back and forth but can’t decide who to lay off. Finally, one manager decides that they lay […] More

  • Seven days to live

    Doctor: “I’ve got some bad news and some really bad news. The bad news is you only have a week to live.” Patient: “What could be worse news than that?” Doctor: “I’ve been trying to contact you for the last 6 days.” More

  • Prisoner

    The bride tells her husband, “Honey, you know I’m a virgin and I don’t know anything about se x. Can you explain it to me first?” “OK, Sweetheart, putting it simply, we will call your private place ‘the prison’ and call my private thing ‘the prisoner’. So what we do is: put the prisoner in […] More

  • Beyond the Call of Duty

    “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said the teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked. “Sure,” said the young boy, confidently. “Means carrying a child.” More

  • Cowboys secret

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren […] More

  • Irresistible

    There was a man walking alone along a beach. He comes across a bottle with a cork in it. The man picks up the bottle and pulls out the cork. A loud roar follows and a genie appears. The genie says to the man, “I’m a little tired today and I can only give you […] More

  • Life choices

    An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The doctor advised him that in order to prolong his life, they should cut out sex̣. . He and his wife discussed the matter and decided that he should sleep in the family […] More

  • Whiskey Shots

    A guy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets him up and the guy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He then takes the last shot and does the same. The bartender asks, “Why did you do […] More

  • Late Bus

    Two old women were sitting on a bench waiting for their bus. The buses were running late, and a lot of time passed. Finally, one woman turned to the other and said, “You know, I’ve been sitting here so long, my butt fell asleep!’. The other woman turned to her and said “I know! I […] More

  • Biggest jerks

    Morton was reading the paper after breakfast when he came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player known primarily for his lack of IQ and common sense. He turned to his wife with a questioning look on his face and said: “I’ll never understand why the biggest […] More

  • How many is a Brazilian?

    A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster announces that six Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident. The blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably. Confused, her husband says: “It is sad, but they were skydiving. There were risks involved.” “I know,” the blonde says. “But how many is a Brazilian?” More

  • No One Slept with Mom

    Ever notice how a 4-year-old’s voice is louder than 200 adults ? Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by […] More

Load More
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.