Joke of the day
Home » 2015 » April (page 2)

Monthly Archives: April 2015

Something we wouldn’t do

For their anniversary, a couple went out for a romantic dinner. Their teenage daughters said they would fix a dessert and leave it waiting. When they got home, they saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: “Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with ... Read More »

The Way Women Think

Husband’s Message (by text): “Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg ... Read More »

Park Bench

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, “Grandpa are you going to take that new Vǐagra?” Grandpa looks at him and says, “No Johnny, I will not.” “But Grandpa, why?” asks little Johnny. Grandpa replies, “Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one to write ... Read More »

Producing A New Gum

Two men were in the process of inventing a new brand of gum. They were arguing over the fact that their new gum was too hard and brittle and didn’t have the right consistency. One of the inventors kept arguing that they simply had to add more liquid to their primary secret ingredient, code named “Yewin”. The other man argued ... Read More »

A trip to the dentist…

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,” said the dentist. “But you screamed so loudly, you scared away two other patients.” Read More »

Senior Citizen

A man visits his psychiatrist and talks about being haunted by visions of his departed relatives. He says; these ghosts are perched on the tops of fence posts around my garden every night. They sit there and watch me and watch me. What can I do? The psychiatrist says; that’s easy … just sharpen the tops of the posts. Read More »

Tipsy secretary

One evening, a man gave his tipsy secretary a ride home after an office party. His wife was prone to jealousy, so he didn’t mention the incident to her. Later in the evening, he was driving his wife to a restaurant when he noticed a stiletto-heeled shoe half-hidden under the passenger seat. Gripped with terror, he took advantage of a ... Read More »

Dealing with a Barking Dog

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbour’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this.” She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, “The dog is still ... Read More »

Chicken or the egg

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette,with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!” Read More »

Pet Monkey

Guy in a bar playing pool has a pet monkey. Monkey jumps onto the table, grabs the cue ball and stuffs it into his mouth and swallows it. Bartender freaks and starts yelling about how much cue balls cost , etc. The guy tries to calm him down and tells him the monkey will pass it in the next day ... Read More »

Scroll To Top