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Monthly Archives: May 2015

Crossing The Border

While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?”, asked the guard. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “Get them off – we’ll take a look,” said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving ... Read More »

Just-a-wee-bit

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, ... Read More »

Just like dad…

The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, “I’ve found a man just like Dad!” Her mother replied, “So what you want from me, sympathy?” Read More »

Two guys are driving down 5th…

Two guys are driving down 5th Avenue in Manhattan when they come up to a red light. The guy driving slams the gas pedal and they go zooming past the red light. His friend looks at him and says, “Hey, you just went through a red light.” The guy driving says, “Don’t worry about it. My brother does it all ... Read More »

Stay more..

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, “You’re driving too fast!” His wife says, “Stay more to the left.” After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, “Who’s driving this car – you or your mother? Read More »

Who Should Make the Coffee?

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.” The husband said, “You are in charge of the cooking around here so you should do it, because ... Read More »

Footsteps

While going out for a ride with his young daughter, a doctor notices the little girl playing with his stethoscope. He becomes excited, thinking “My daughter is going to follow in my footsteps!” The girl speaks into the stethoscope like a microphone, “Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order please?” Read More »

Two factory workers were talking..

Two factory workers were talking. “I know how to get some time off fromwork.” said the man. “How do you think you will do that?” said the other one. He proceeded toshow her…by climbing up to the rafters, and hanging upside down. The boss walked in, saw the worker hanging from the ceiling, and asked himwhat on earth he was ... Read More »

When I Was Your Age …

The minister was passing a group of young teens sitting on the church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. “Nothing much, Pastor,” replied one boy. “We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life.” “Boys, boys, boys!” he scolded. “I’m shocked. When I was your age, I never even thought about sex.” ... Read More »

Consciousness

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I see you’ve regained consciousness. Now, you probably won’t remember, but you were in a pile up on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but something happened. I’m trying to break this gently, but the ... Read More »

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