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Monthly Archives: December 2015

Really big

A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day and the man looks over at his wife and says “Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big.I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.” With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his ... Read More »

Six months…

The middle aged man was visibly shaken when his Doctor advised that he had only 6 month’s to live because of the terminal disease that was detected during a recent physical check-up. The Doctor suggested that he should get his “house in order”, make sure his Will was current and ensure all final arrangements were in place for the funeral. ... Read More »

The Religious Blonde

A blonde hadn’t been to church for many many months. She always promised to go, but never did. One day, the pastor was astounded when she suddenly show up for Sunday service. Thereafter, she was at every Sunday service, every prayer meeting, every home group meeting, etc. Three months later, one Sunday after the service, the pastor asks her, “What ... Read More »

I Presume

A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression “I presume.” One little girl held up her hand and said, “Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and I presumed that the dishwasher was broken.” “Very good,” said the teacher. Another one said, “This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage, I ... Read More »

It’s Tough Getting Old

OLD people have problems that you haven’t even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical Exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and ... Read More »

Little boys and skydiving

There are three men in the military practicing skydiving. The first man jumps out and a swiss army knife falls out of his pocket. The second man jumps out and a kitchen knife falls out of his pocket. The third jumps out and a grenade falls out of his pocket. When they land, they go and look for the things ... Read More »

Best Credit Card Offers?

A lady got a call from a bank…. Hello Mam! We are offering you credit card with best deals!!! 1. No annual charges. 2. No interest on balance for three months. 3. Big credit limit. 4. No penalties for over spending. Smart reply by the lady: No thanks… I don’t want a credit card. I have a husband… 1. With ... Read More »

Good-natured boss

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office. “It has not escaped my attention,” he pointed out, “that every time there’s a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor.” “You know you’re right, sir,” exclaimed Smith, “I didn’t realize it. You don’t suppose she’s faking, do you?” Read More »

Vatican Fried Chicken

During a Papal audience, a business man approached the Pope and made this offer: Change the last line of the Lord’s prayer from “Give us this day our daily bread” to “Give us this day our daily chicken,” and Kentucky Fried Chicken will donate $10,000,000 to Catholic charities. The Pope declined. Two weeks later, the man approached the Pope again ... Read More »

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