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Monthly Archives: July 2016

That’s How Mary Did It

Wife: What are your plans for Easter? Husband: Same as Jesus… Wife: What do you mean? Husband: I will disappear on Friday and reappear on Monday! On hearing that the wife retorts,”AWESOME, you do that, I’ll do a Mary and show up pregnant untouched by my husband.” The man stayed home. Read More »

Beware Kind Manager

A wealthy manager was driving in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.” “Well, ... Read More »

Meeting the Bride

My cousin was in love and wanted to introduce his bride-to-be to his super-critical mother. But in order to get an unbiased opinion, he invited over three other female friends as well and didn’t tell his mom which one he intended to marry. After the four women left, he asked his mother, “Can you guess which one I want to ... Read More »

50th Anniversary

An older gentleman goes into a bar and hears the other patrons discussing the ups and down of marriage. “Next week my wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth anniversary,” he tells them. “That’s great. What’s your secret for a long and happy marriage,” one asks. “Well, you have to do nice things for your wife.” “Such as?” “Well, for ... Read More »

Punctuality

A company owner was asked a question, “How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?” He smiled & replied, “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking.” Read More »

Live Shark

“Can I buy a live shark here?” “Lady, what do you want with a live shark?” “A neighbor’s cat has been eating my goldfish, and I want to teach him a lesson.” Read More »

On the radio

Hearing his wife as she sings, the husband says, “You know dear, when you sing like that I just wish you were on the radio.” The wife smiles and replies, “Wow honey, you think I am that good?” “No, but at least that way I can change the station or turn it off.” Read More »

Flat Tire

A car gets a flat tire on the Interstate one day. The lady driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic. The lifelike cardboard men are ... Read More »

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