August 2016

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • End of story!

    A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. “Sorry, he doesn’t live here anymore, we’re divorced!” Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. “Look, Bozo! […] More

  • I guessed FIVE

    A little boy came home from kindergarten with a blue ribbon. When his mommy asked him “What is the blue ribbon for?” he proudly announced, “I won!” When pressed for details he simply said, “The teacher asked all of us to guess how many legs a cow has. When my turn came, I guessed FIVE.” […] More

  • Someone who is responsible

    A man was interviewing for a job. The interviewer said, “In this job we need someone who is responsible.” “I’m the one you want,” the man replied. “At my last job every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.” More

  • Plumber’s truck

    Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter. One afternoon he returned from work early and saw a plumber’s truck in the driveway. “Lord,” he pleaded, looking skyward, “please let my wife be having an affair.” More

  • Quickest way to New York

    A man approached a local in a village he was visiting. “What’s the quickest way to New York?” The local scratched his head. “Are you walking or driving?” he asked the stranger. “I’m driving.” “That’s the quickest way.” More

  • Public speaking skills

    The veteran politician, not known for his public speaking skills, was going to give a speech at the Olympics. He looked at the teleprompter and began, “O, O, O, O, O.” An aid quickly ran over and told him, “That is the logo sir.” More

  • 100 ways to become rich

    Beggar: Actually I am an author. I wrote ‘100 ways to become rich’ Mr. Roger: Then why are you begging? Beggar: This is one of the ways to become rich. More

  • Great team

    Coach: We have a great team this year. So far we have had no losses, no draws and no goals scored against us. Reporter: How many games have you played? Coach: The first one is next Sunday. More

  • Glowing number 5

    When the gambler wakes up from dreaming about a huge glowing number 5 made of gold and diamonds, he knows it’s an omen. So he grabs a racing form and looks up that day’s fifth race. Sure enough, the number 5 horse in the fifth race is Fifth Element. So for the rest of the […] More

  • Going to fight

    A political candidate stood on a platform and announced to the assembled crowd that he was going to fight radicalism, socialism, communism, and anarchism. One old man snorted and said, “I’ll vote for you when you can do something about rheumatism.” More

  • Strict Pizza Diet

    A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man, “I have really bad news. You’re […] More

  • Eighty-eight

    A woman went to her new doctor for a checkup. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous! He told her he was going to put his hand on her back and he wanted her to say “Eighty-eight.” “Eighty-eight,” she purred. “Good. Now I’m going to put my hand on your throat and I want you […] More

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