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Monthly Archives: December 2016

I’m fixing..

A young fellow and his girl are parked in a lover’s lane that runs along a river. The guy wants to make love, but the girl is afraid somebody will come along and see them. They decide to do it under his Dodge 4 X 4 pickup with oversized tires and lots of room under. A few minutes later, a ... Read More »

You don’t know..

In arithmetic class one day, the teacher says to one little fellow, “If you had a quarter, and you asked your father for another dollar and 50 cents, how much money would you have?” “One quarter,” the little boys says. “You don’t know your arithmetic,” says the teacher, shaking her head. The little boy shakes his head, too. “You don’t ... Read More »

Always Read the Sign

A heavily bandaged man was sitting up in bed at the hospital when his friend came to visit. “What happened to you?” the friend asked. “Well, we went to the amusement park and decided to ride the roller coaster. As we came to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I ... Read More »

According to..

A party of economists was climbing in the Alps. After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun. Finally he said, “OK see that big mountain over there?” “Yes,” answered the others eagerly. “Well, according to the ... Read More »

Glass of Water

With his wife out for the evening, a father was trying to watch TV, but his young son kept coming in and asking for a glass of water. After the seventh glass, the father lost his temper and yelled, “Go to sleep, I’m watching TV.” “But Dad,” he protested, “my room is still on fire!” Read More »

Lettuce leaf

A guy walked into the doctor’s office with a lettuce leaf sticking out of one ear. “That’s unusual,” said the doctor. The man replied, “That’s just the tip of the iceberg.” Read More »

Sleeping pills

An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills that work like ... Read More »

How much?

When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn’t remember. “You probably got the cheaper gas,” he said. “That could account for the engine running so rough.” “No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” she replied indignantly. “Well, how much did it cost?” asked the husband. “It ... Read More »

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