2016

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Acts of God

    The new minister’s wife had a baby. The minister appealed to the congregation for a salary increase to cover the addition to the family.The congregation agreed that it was only fair, and approved it. When the next child arrived, the minister appealed again and the congregation approved again. Several years and five children later, the […] More

  • How much?

    When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn’t remember. “You probably got the cheaper gas,” he said. “That could account for the engine running so rough.” “No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” she replied indignantly. “Well, how much did it […] More

  • Jail Time for Mommy

    My older son loves school, but his younger brother absolutely hates it. One weekend he cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday. Sunday morning on the way home from church, the crying and whining built to a crescendo. At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car […] More

  • Bring me down

    “I’ve never flown before,” said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you?” “All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!” More

  • Smashing The Cigarettes

    A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to […] More

  • A man and an ostrich

    A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, “What will it be?” The man replied “a burger and a coke.” “And you?” “I’ll have the same,” the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. “That will be $4.50,” The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. […] More

  • What these are used for?

    Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?” “Eight,” the boy replied. The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?” The boy replied, “Not exactly, […] More

  • Next turn

    After leaving their wedding reception, a young honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their hotel. The driver wasn’t sure how to get there and said he’d ask for directions when they got nearer to their destination. Meanwhile the lovers started getting really passionate in the back seat. Seeing a fork in the […] More

  • It’s Simple Math

    Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The psychiatrist informs them that they will have to pass a simple test. He asks the first patient, “How much is two plus two?” “Blue.” At which point the doctor calls in the orderly to escort the patient back to his room. Turning to the […] More

  • Why Did You Leave?

    A lady is at a job interview for a receptionist position. “I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?” “Well, I just couldn’t win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessional.” More

  • Poor Little Piggy

    My young son ran to me, crying. “Daddy, I stubbed my toe,” he sobbed. “Let me kiss it and make it better,” I said. “Which toe was it?” “The one that has no roast beef.” More

  • Corporate Joke

    At a meeting, the corporate manager told a joke. Everyone on the team laughed except one guy. The manager asked him, “Didn’t you understand my joke?” The guy replied, “Oh I understood it, but I resigned yesterday.” More

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