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Yearly Archives: 2017

Just the Past

Wife goes to an astrologer to learn more about her husband. The astrologer asks her, “Do you want to know about your husband’s future?” Without hesitation, the wife responds. “I will decide his future, you just tell me about his past.” Read More »

Uninvited Announcement

Each year our company holds a training session in the conference room of the same hotel. When we were told we would not be able to reserve our usual location, my secretary, Gail, spent many hours on the phone trying to work out alternative arrangements. Finally, when the details were ironed out, she burst into my office. “Great news, Scott!” ... Read More »

Runner’s Euphoria

A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had ... Read More »

Expensive Lessons

A father was buying bass lessons for his son. After the 1st week, the father asked him what he had learned. The son said, “On my 1st lesson we learned about the E string.” The 2nd week came and after the lesson, the father asked what had he learned that week. The son said, “On the 2nd lesson I learned ... Read More »

How to Say No to Smoking

I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to “be cool”. As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, “Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?” Read More »

Bosses versus workers

When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy. When I do it without being told, I’m trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, that is initiative. When I please ... Read More »

Go Ahead and Do It

Police officer talks to a driver: “Your tail light is broken, your tires must be changed, and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars!!” [Pause] Driver: “Alright, go ahead and do it. They want twice as much as that at the garage. Read More »

Two caterpillars..

Two caterpillars were crawling along a leaf when a butterfly flew past overhead. One caterpillar turned to the other one and said: “You’ll never get me up in one of those things!” Read More »

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