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Yearly Archives: 2017

Little Workers

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a nature history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer, “They don’t have a union?” Read More »

It’s All About Perspective

It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The baby mosquito replied, “It went great, everyone was clapping for me!” Read More »

Special Horse

A man needed a horse, so he went to a church and got one. Before he left, the priest told him that it was a special horse. In order to make the horse go, you say, “Thank God”, and for it to stop you say, “Amen”. So the man left, and a few minutes later he dozed off on his ... Read More »

I need your help, Doctor!

An elderly patient went to the doctor. “I need your help, Doctor,” he said. “Do you remember those voices in my head which I’ve been complaining about for years?” “Yes.” “Well, they’ve suddenly stopped.” “That’s good. So what’s the problem?” “I think I might be going deaf.” Read More »

Running a small business

Two women were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. “I started a new practice last year,” the first one said. “I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months.” “Why in the world would you do that?” the other asked. She responded, “It’s the best way I can learn ... Read More »

Pay Day

A man was very excited when he saw the text message on his phone, “Salary credited to your bank account.” Jumping for joy, he rushed towards his car to go out shopping. As soon he opened the door of the car, he received another message, “Car loan debited from bank account.” He closed the door of the car and decided ... Read More »

A Home Affair

My client buys many rental properties, not always with the 
enthusiastic support of his wife. Recently, I was showing him a home when his wife called. I could hear her ask what he was doing. “The real estate agent and I are having an affair,” he answered. “Oh, thank God,” she said. “I thought she was selling you another house.” Read More »

How to get into Heaven

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'” Read More »

When we got married..

An elderly couple was having their first major row after thirty-six years of marriage. “When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey,” the wife said. “I know,” said the husband, “but I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all those people.” Read More »

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