A Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer are sitting in a train carriage together. The train goes into a tunnel and there is complete darkness.
Suddenly there is a kissing sound then the sound of a really hard slap. When the train comes out the tunnel, the Englishman and Claudia are sitting as if nothing happened and the Frenchman is holding the side of his face.
The Frenchman thinks “the Englishman must have tried to kiss Claudia and she missed him and slapped me by mistake”.
Claudia thinks to herself, “the Frenchman must have tried to kiss me but accidentally kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it”.
And the Englishman is thinking “brilliant! In the next tunnel I’ll make another kissing noise and slap the French twat again”!!