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Pet shop

A man went to a pet shop and asked for a bird that could sing. The proprietor brought out a gorgeous tropical bird, looked the bird in the eye, puckered his lips and started to whistle. The bird took up the very note and finished the tune with him. “That’s mighty fine,” the customer said, “but I’d never pay money ... Read More »

The After-Effects of Marriage

A lion was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood a distance and wished then lion. A mouse came and climbed to the stage and extended his hand to wish the lion. The lion roared in rage and said, “How dare are you to come up the stage? Even the tiger is maintaining distance and you ... Read More »

Beaver

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it’s a beaver, Johnny.” The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says, “Mom I know ... Read More »

Camel Questions

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.” “Okay,” says the son. A few minutes later the son asks, “Mom, ... Read More »

Dog in Heat

A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.” “What’s that mean?” asked the child. “Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.” The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around ... Read More »

How do you mean?

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. “What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.” “They’re just like people, aren’t they ... Read More »

Barking Dog

Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours. Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this,” and goes downstairs. Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, “The dog is still barking. What have you been ... Read More »

A duck walks into a Dairy

A duck walks into a dairy and says “Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!” But the cash register attendee doesn’t speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks ... Read More »

The Laboratory Rabbit

A rabbit escaped from a research laboratory where he had lived since birth. He joined a group of wild rabbits and lived their lives for a day. He fed on juicy carrots, fat lettuces and sighed with pleasure. “This is life!” he exclaimed. “So you are going to live with us?” asked the others. “I wish I could but I ... Read More »

The penguin

A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, “Take that penguin to the zoo, now.” Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again. The policeman stops the guy and says, I told you yesterday to take the penguin to the Zoo, what on earth are you doing with the penguin in ... Read More »

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