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Predict the Weather

To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it’s probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog’s fur looks like it’s been rubbed the wrong way, it’s probably windy. If ... Read More »

Mommy Bear

It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! “Who’s been eating my porridge?” he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into ... Read More »

Haircut

A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would be fifty dollars, she was outraged. “I only pay thirty for my own haircut,” she said. The groomer said, “That may be true, but then you don’t bite!” Read More »

I Can Guess How Many

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie gets out and asks the shepherd, “If I can tell you ... Read More »

Who stole your pig?

Farmer Josh killed a pig and hung it up for the night, intending to butcher it in the morning, but the next day it was gone. He didn’t tell a soul about it, and nothing happened for more than two months. Then another farmer, who lived down the road, came by and said, “By the way Josh, did you ever ... Read More »

Mrs. Rabbit

“Listen up!” Noah said in a demanding voice. “There will be NO se x on this trip. All of you males, take off your peckers and hand it to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your peckers back.” After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his ... Read More »

Three mice

Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the glass onto the bar, turns to the second mouse and says, “When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off ... Read More »

Fast chicken

A man was driving along a rural road, one day, when he saw a three-legged chicken. He was amused enough to drive along side it for a while. As he was driving, he noticed the chicken was running 30 mph. “Pretty fast chicken,” he thought, “I wonder just how fast it can run.” So, he sped up and the chicken ... Read More »

$5,000 bird

A successful businessman wanted to send his elderly mother a very special gift for her birthday, a rare South American endangered bird valued at $5,000. When he called his mother to see how she liked the surprise gift he was shocked when she said, “It was quite small, but tasted very good.” He asked her, after her shocking reply, “Mom, ... Read More »

Where’s Susie

A little girl asked her mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?” Her mom says, “No, because the dog is in heat.” “What’s that mean?” asked the child. “Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.” The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, can I take Susie for a ... Read More »

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