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Following instructions

A woman brought her baby to see the Doctor, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several days passed, and the woman returned ... Read More »

The Brave Wife

A husband and wife entered a dentist’s office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The wife turns to her husband and says, ... Read More »

It’s A Hospital

Doctor: We need to get these people to a hospital! Nurse: What is it? Doctor: It’s a big building with a lot of doctors, but that’s not important now! Read More »

Long Life

Doctor: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be 80. Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now. Doctor: See, what did I tell you. Read More »

Serious problem

Tom went to see her psychiatrist, Dr. Jackson. Tom pleaded to the doctor, “My wife needs help, she thinks she’s ME!” Dr. Jackson said, “That seems to be a serious problem. I will need to see her. Can you get her here to see me.” Tom replied, “But, Dr. Jackson, here I am!” Read More »

You aren’t the first doctor..

Howard had felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he’d hear that small inner voice trying to reassure him, “Howard. Don’t worry about it. You aren’t the first doctor to sleep with one of your patients ... Read More »

Accidents

A cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. “Ever have an accident?” “Nope, nary a one.” “None? You’ve never had any accidents?” “Nope. Ain’t never had one. Never.” “Well, you said on this form you were bit by a snake once. Wouldn’t you consider that an accident?” ... Read More »

Loud Disturbance

My sister had been ill, so I called to see how she was doing. My ten-year-old niece answered the phone. “Hello,” she whispered. “Hi, honey. How’s your mother?” I asked. “She’s sleeping,” she answered, again in a whisper. “Did she go to the doctor?” “Yes. She got some medicine,” my niece said softly. “Well, don’t wake her up. Just tell ... Read More »

Jar number 47

A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do – everyone except for grouchy Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic. Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this ‘miracle doctor’ to prove that he wasn’t anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, “Hey, ... Read More »

Go to the dentist

Arthur: I like to go to the dentist. Marion: You really like to see the dentist? Arthur: Yes. My teacher, my mother, my big sister–they all tell me to shut up. The dentist is the only person who tells me to open my mouth! Read More »

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