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Doctor Knows Best

Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy. Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking. Patient: I don’t drink and have never touched a drop in my life. Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking. Patient: I don’t smoke either doctor. Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing. Patient: Good heavens! I haven’t had a ... Read More »

Which bean

A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean made you fart?” Read More »

Costly Wakeup

An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients: “How much will the anesthesia cost?” “Oh, about $100.00. $1.00 to go to sleep and $99.00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package.” Read More »

The Painless Dentist

When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the ‘Painless’ dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim. “He’s a fake!” Veronica told her friends. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!” Read More »

What Is Your Bed Number

In a Psychiatric Hospital, a Journalist asks the Doctor: “How do you determine whether to admit a person as a patient or not? Dr: Well … we’d fill a bathtub with water and then give a teaspoon, a glass and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub. Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use ... Read More »

What kind of filling?

A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling. “Now, young man,” asked the dentist, “what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?” “I would prefer chocolate, please,” replied Ben. Read More »

What’s The Difference

What’s the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist? If you say, ‘I hate my mother’, a psychiatrist will ask, “Why do you say that?” Whereas a psychologist will say, “Thank you for sharing that with us.” Read More »

After waiting..

The doctor’s office was crowded as usual, but the doctor was moving at his usual snail’s pace. After waiting two hours, an old man slowly stood up and started walking toward the door. “Where are you going?” the receptionist called out. “Well,” he said, “I figured I’d go home and die a natural death.” Read More »

Help me!

A waiter suddenly became ill and was rushed to the hospital. He was lying on the operating table in extreme pain when he saw an intern go by. “Doctor, help me!” pleaded the waiter. “Sorry,” replied the intern. “That isn’t my table.” Read More »

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