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A little more expensive

“This tooth will be difficult to remove,” the dentist told his patient. “I think you should have an anesthetic even though it will be a little more expensive.” “OK,” agreed the patient and began feeling in his pocket for his money. “You don’t need to pay me yet,” said the dentist. “I know,” replied the patient. “I’m just counting my ... Read More »

A new mother

A new mother went to the psychiatrist worried. “Doctor,” she said, “Since I had the baby I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?” “Easy,” said the doctor. “Just take the carpet off ... Read More »

The Big Secret

An engineer and a psychiatrist meet up for their 20th college reunion. The engineer says, “I’m surprised to see you still looking so young. I’d have thought listening to people’s problems all day would have given you a mass of wrinkles.” The psychiatrist says, “You think we listen?” Read More »

What A Clown

A man goes to a doctor. He says he is depressed. He says life seems harsh and cruel. He says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. ... Read More »

Hearing problems

An elderly retired gentleman had had severe hearing problems for some time. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear better than he had ever heard before. One month later, the elderly man went back again to the doctor. The doctor said, ... Read More »

He Told Me

In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?” The second responds, “God told me I was.” At this point, a patient on ... Read More »

Freud’s patient..

One of Sigmund Freud’s early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying. Her friend begged her to share what was wrong. “Oh, it’s just terrible,” she wailed. “Today the doctor told me I’m in love with my father, ... Read More »

Arm troubles

A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor,” says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!” says the doctor. ”I see the problem. Your arm is broke!” Read More »

A trip to the doctor

A woman and her husband go to the doctor because the woman is complaining of shortness of breath. After fifteen minutes, the woman comes out into the waiting room and says, “Apparently, my problem is that I have a nice cooter.” “Excuse me?” says the husband. “That’s what the doctor said. My problem is that I have a nice cooter.” ... Read More »

Where Did They Go?

Brian, one of the worlds greatest hypochondriacs, bumped into his Dr. one day at the supermarket. “Doc!” Brian exclaimed, “I’ve been meaning to tell you, remember those voices I kept on hearing in my head? I haven’t heard them in over a week!” “Wow! What wonderful news Brian! I’m so happy for you!” his Dr. exclaimed. “Wonderful?” asked a dismal ... Read More »

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