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After waiting..

The doctor’s office was crowded as usual, but the doctor was moving at his usual snail’s pace. After waiting two hours, an old man slowly stood up and started walking toward the door. “Where are you going?” the receptionist called out. “Well,” he said, “I figured I’d go home and die a natural death.” Read More »

Help me!

A waiter suddenly became ill and was rushed to the hospital. He was lying on the operating table in extreme pain when he saw an intern go by. “Doctor, help me!” pleaded the waiter. “Sorry,” replied the intern. “That isn’t my table.” Read More »

Strict Pizza Diet

A man wakes up and finds himself in a hospital room, one with only himself in it. He has no recollection of how he got there. While pondering it, his bedside phone rings, and he answers it. A doctor on the other end identifies himself, and tells the man, “I have really bad news. You’re very sick. After your collapse ... Read More »

Eighty-eight

A woman went to her new doctor for a checkup. He turned out to be absolutely gorgeous! He told her he was going to put his hand on her back and he wanted her to say “Eighty-eight.” “Eighty-eight,” she purred. “Good. Now I’m going to put my hand on your throat and I want you to again say ‘Eighty-eight.'” “Eighhty…eighhhhtttt.” ... Read More »

Differences

A surgeon was checking on a patient who had a hernia operation three days before. The doctor asked the man why he had not gotten out of bed. “I hurt,” the man said. “You don’t know how it feels.” “I know exactly how it feels,” the doctor said. “I had the same procedure last month, and I was back at ... Read More »

A little more expensive

“This tooth will be difficult to remove,” the dentist told his patient. “I think you should have an anesthetic even though it will be a little more expensive.” “OK,” agreed the patient and began feeling in his pocket for his money. “You don’t need to pay me yet,” said the dentist. “I know,” replied the patient. “I’m just counting my ... Read More »

A new mother

A new mother went to the psychiatrist worried. “Doctor,” she said, “Since I had the baby I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?” “Easy,” said the doctor. “Just take the carpet off ... Read More »

The Big Secret

An engineer and a psychiatrist meet up for their 20th college reunion. The engineer says, “I’m surprised to see you still looking so young. I’d have thought listening to people’s problems all day would have given you a mass of wrinkles.” The psychiatrist says, “You think we listen?” Read More »

What A Clown

A man goes to a doctor. He says he is depressed. He says life seems harsh and cruel. He says he feels all alone in a threatening world, where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. The doctor says the treatment is simple. The great clown Terrifini is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up. ... Read More »

Hearing problems

An elderly retired gentleman had had severe hearing problems for some time. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear better than he had ever heard before. One month later, the elderly man went back again to the doctor. The doctor said, ... Read More »

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