Joke of the day
Home » Family Jokes (page 10)

Category Archives: Family Jokes

Feed Subscription

Hunting flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting flies” he responded. “Oh. Killing any?” she asked. “Yes, three males and two Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell?” He replied, “Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.” Read More »

Too Many Mistakes

Johnny’s English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So, it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Johnny handed in a poor paper. “This is the worst essay I have ever had the misfortune of reading,” ranted the teacher. “It has too many mistakes. I can’t understand how one ... Read More »

Father’s Occupation!!!

“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. “He’s a magician,” said the small boy. “How interesting! What’s his favourite trick?” “Sawing people in half.” “Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?” “Yes. One half-brother and two half-sisters.” Read More »

Big Decision!

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?” “Well,” he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.” “That’s a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?” “Yeah, and they’re in favor ... Read More »

Wedding Speech!

Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws: My dear new family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new house… Firstly I must tell you that my presence here should not change your life routines… Those who used to do the laundry must keep on doing it… Those cooking must keep cooking… Those cleaning must keep cleaning… ... Read More »

What’s wrong

As I was trying to pack for vacation, my 3-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point, she said, “Mom, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her fingers in my mouth and said, “Mommy is gonna eat your fingers!” pretending ... Read More »

Witness

Due to a power failure, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a torch high over her mummy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little ... Read More »

Grandma’s Home

When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. “Is that your grandmother?” I asked. “Yes,” Chris said. “She’s come to visit us for Christmas.” “How nice,” I said. “Where does she live?” “At the airport,” Chris replied. “Whenever we want her, we just go out ... Read More »

A Letter To Dad

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’ With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter. Dear Dad: It is with great regret ... Read More »

Reasonable woman

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, “Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond. Now, we have a nice house, ... Read More »

Scroll To Top