Joke of the day
Home » Family Jokes (page 10)

Category Archives: Family Jokes

Feed Subscription

High blood pressure

Sally had to go in and have her yearly physical done. When Dr. Jones remarked on her extraordinarily ruddy complexion, Sally replied, “High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s?” Dr. Jones inquired. “Neither,” Sally replied. “It’s from my husbands family.” “Oh, come now,” Dr. Jones said. “How could your husband’s family give ... Read More »

What he would like

A very rich businessman asked his small son what he would like for Christmas. “A baby brother please,” he replied. “I’m sorry, son, there’s not enough time, it’s only 3 weeks to Christmas.” “Well, can’t you put more men on the job?” the son suggested. Read More »

Balloons

A little boy went shopping with his mother and when she began trying some clothes on in the fitting room, he remarked, “You’ve got big balloons, mum.” “That’s not the right word for them” she replied. “Why do you call them that?” “Because yesterday I saw daddy blowing up the au pair’s.” Read More »

Monkey Business

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?” The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.” Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.” The confused girl returned ... Read More »

Vanishing Cream

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, ... Read More »

Hunting flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting flies” he responded. “Oh. Killing any?” she asked. “Yes, three males and two Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell?” He replied, “Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.” Read More »

Too Many Mistakes

Johnny’s English teacher was a perfectionist and demanded the very best of his pupils. So, it was only to be expected that he would get furious when Little Johnny handed in a poor paper. “This is the worst essay I have ever had the misfortune of reading,” ranted the teacher. “It has too many mistakes. I can’t understand how one ... Read More »

Father’s Occupation!!!

“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. “He’s a magician,” said the small boy. “How interesting! What’s his favourite trick?” “Sawing people in half.” “Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?” “Yes. One half-brother and two half-sisters.” Read More »

Big Decision!

One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, “You had a great checkup. Is there anything that you’d like to talk about or ask me?” “Well,” he said, “I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.” “That’s a pretty big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?” “Yeah, and they’re in favor ... Read More »

Wedding Speech!

Wedding speech from modern girl to her in laws: My dear new family, I thank you for welcoming me in my new house… Firstly I must tell you that my presence here should not change your life routines… Those who used to do the laundry must keep on doing it… Those cooking must keep cooking… Those cleaning must keep cleaning… ... Read More »

Scroll To Top