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Family Finances

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here.” Read More »

Spaghetti

A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed ... Read More »

Gray Hairs

One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied “Well, every time that you ... Read More »

Remember ?!

The little boy’s mother had been away for a week’s conference and on returning she asked her son how he’d been. “OK,” said Ben. “Except there was dreadful thunder and lightning on Tuesday night so me and Daddy snuggled up in the same bed.” “You mean Daddy and I,” said his young nanny. “Oh no,” said the boy, “that was ... Read More »

Eiderdown

A young man asks for shelter for the night when his car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The old couple invite him in, apologise for only having two bedrooms – one for them and the other for their unmarried daughter – but offer him the sofa for the night. Round about 4 am, it turns bitterly cold and ... Read More »

High blood pressure

Sally had to go in and have her yearly physical done. When Dr. Jones remarked on her extraordinarily ruddy complexion, Sally replied, “High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s?” Dr. Jones inquired. “Neither,” Sally replied. “It’s from my husbands family.” “Oh, come now,” Dr. Jones said. “How could your husband’s family give ... Read More »

What he would like

A very rich businessman asked his small son what he would like for Christmas. “A baby brother please,” he replied. “I’m sorry, son, there’s not enough time, it’s only 3 weeks to Christmas.” “Well, can’t you put more men on the job?” the son suggested. Read More »

Balloons

A little boy went shopping with his mother and when she began trying some clothes on in the fitting room, he remarked, “You’ve got big balloons, mum.” “That’s not the right word for them” she replied. “Why do you call them that?” “Because yesterday I saw daddy blowing up the au pair’s.” Read More »

Monkey Business

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?” The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.” Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.” The confused girl returned ... Read More »

Vanishing Cream

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, ... Read More »

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