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Nice flowers!

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.” His wife was thrilled by this new display ... Read More »

Ready for school

One mother arrived at school each morning with her seven children in tow, all a bit rumpled but never the less on time. Scarcely able to get her one child ready for school on time, another mother asked her how she managed her brood so efficiently. “Easy,” she replied with a smile. “I dress them the night before!” Read More »

I have news

A woman goes away on vacation and has her brother watch her cat. On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her that the cat is dead. The woman immediately goes into hysterics, really upset and says, “You can’t tell a person bad news like that. The first day, you should ... Read More »

Army Girl

“Daddy,” said my 10-year-old daughter, “I think I want to join the Army.” “Baby,” I answered, “I think the Air Force would be a better option for you.” “But I don’t want to be a pilot.” “You don’t have to be a pilot,” I told her. “There are other jobs in the Air Force.” Her answer: “I don’t want to ... Read More »

Father and son

A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the game, and Dad can’t find the tickets. Dad: “Nip home and see if I left the tickets there.” Bobby: “No probs, Dad.” Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: “Yep, they’re on the kitchen table where you left them.” Read More »

Glass of Water

With his wife out for the evening, a father was trying to watch TV, but his young son kept coming in and asking for a glass of water. After the seventh glass, the father lost his temper and yelled, “Go to sleep, I’m watching TV.” “But Dad,” he protested, “my room is still on fire!” Read More »

How much?

When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn’t remember. “You probably got the cheaper gas,” he said. “That could account for the engine running so rough.” “No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” she replied indignantly. “Well, how much did it cost?” asked the husband. “It ... Read More »

Wishbone

One Thanksgiving a grandfather and his grandson broke the wishbone from the turkey. The boy was bitterly disappointed to find himself holding the small end of the bone. “Don’t worry,” the grandfather comforted the child. “My wish was that your wish would come true.” Read More »

New gifts

The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very excited about. Their family asked the pastor over for dinner. The girl wanted so badly to tell the pastor about her new gifts, but her mother insisted she wait until after dinner and not interrupt at meal time. Not able to contain her excitement, ... Read More »

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