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Three girls at once

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I’ve never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny and potent.” The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer, and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label, “į¹¾iagra Extra Strength,” ... Read More »

Thirty..

Doctor to patient’s husband: “I’m sorry. We did all that was humanly possible but we just can’t wake her from her coma. It doesn’t look good I’m afraid.” “But doctor, she’s so young. She’s only thirty-nine.” Upon which the comatose wife said weakly… “Thirty-seven.” Read More »

New gifts

The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very excited about. Their family asked the pastor over for dinner. The girl wanted so badly to tell the pastor about her new gifts, but her mother insisted she wait until after dinner and not interrupt at meal time. Not able to contain her excitement, ... Read More »

Learning From Teachers

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A’s and a couple of B’s. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: “Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of ... Read More »

Keep your ears from popping..

McNally was taking his first plane ride, flying over the Rocky Mountains. The stewardess handed him a piece of chewing gum. “It’s to keep your ears from popping at high altitudes,” she explains. When the plane landed McNally rushed up to her. “Miss,” he said, “I’m meeting me wife right away. How do I get the gum out of me ... Read More »

What?!?

A plumber was called to woman’s apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived, he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite beautiful and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly. About 5:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing the bedroom shenanigans. “That was my husband,” she said, putting down the ... Read More »

No bike

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, “Son, ... Read More »

Shaking hands

Three old men were talking about how much their hands shook. The first old guy said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I shaved this morning, I cut my face.” The second old fogey one-upped him and said, “My hands shake so bad, that when I trimmed my garden yesterday, I sliced all my flowers.” The third old man ... Read More »

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