Joke of the day

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  • Seen on tv

    A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for the park. When they opened the bag, it was full on money instead of […] More

  • Judgment

    A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the […] More

  • Are you..?!

    A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. “Are you my doctor?” he asked. “Yes, I am.” The baby said, “Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth.” He looked at his mother and asked, “Are you my […] More

  • Talking clock

    A man moves into a new flat and invites a few of his friends around for a housewarming drink. He’s got lots of lovely furniture but then one of his friends sees an old hammer hanging on the wall and says, “What’s that dirty old hammer doing there?” The man replies: “Oh, that’s not a […] More

  • Doctor Knows Best

    Patient: I have a problem doctor. I feel depressed and unhappy. Doctor: You should cut down on your drinking. Patient: I don’t drink and have never touched a drop in my life. Doctor: You should cut down on your smoking. Patient: I don’t smoke either doctor. Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing. Patient: Good […] More

  • The will to live…

    A man went to his lawyer and said: “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.” The lawyer says “No problem, leave it all to me”. The man looks somewhat upset … “Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I’d like […] More

  • $5,000 bird

    A successful businessman wanted to send his elderly mother a very special gift for her birthday, a rare South American endangered bird valued at $5,000. When he called his mother to see how she liked the surprise gift he was shocked when she said, “It was quite small, but tasted very good.” He asked her, […] More

  • One claw

    A man went into a restaurant and asked for crab. When the waiter brought it, the man objected, “Just a minute, that crab only has one claw!” “Yes, said the waiter, it was in a fight.” “Well,” said the man, “Bring me the winner!” More

  • Which bean

    A very popular girl went to her doctor and found out that she was pregnant. The doctor says, “I know that you are not married! Do you know who the father of this baby is?” The girl thought and then asked, “Doc, if you ate a can of Baked Beans, would you know which bean […] More

  • Costly Wakeup

    An anesthesiologist has a stock answer to the usual question asked by pre-surgical patients: “How much will the anesthesia cost?” “Oh, about $100.00. $1.00 to go to sleep and $99.00 for waking up. Most patients buy the whole package.” More

  • The Painless Dentist

    When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the ‘Painless’ dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim. “He’s a fake!” Veronica told her friends. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like […] More

  • About weekends

    A pair of men were talking about their weekends. “I went out last Friday and got drunk out of my mind,” the first man said. “In the morning, I woke up next to this ugly, fat broad who was snoring and grunting.” “That sounds awful,” the second man replied. “Not really,” the first man said. […] More

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