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Having twins

A couple is trying to have a baby. Finally, the blonde tells her husband, “Honey, I have great news! We’re pregnant, and we’re having twins!” The husband is overjoyed and says to his wife, “Honey that’s wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we’re having twins?” She nods her head and says, “Well, I bought the twin pack ... Read More »

A bit apprehensive…

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School.He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?”, I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.” I asked, “What’s the difference?” He replied, “That means ... Read More »

The interested doctor

A concerned woman phones a doctor and says, “Doctor, I’m worried about my husband. He thinks he’s a dog!” “I’m coming over right away,” the doctor says. When the doctor arrives, the woman opens the door, and her husband, on all four, starts wagging his bottom and licking the doctor’s hand. “Interesting”, the doctor says, startled. “I’ll examine him. Make ... Read More »

Overpaid

A man goes to get his salary cheque and when he opens it he discovers that his employer has overpaid him by £2000. He decides not to tell anybody and keeps quiet. At the end of the following month when he opens the cheque, he sees that he’s been underpaid by £2000. Fuming, he goes to have it out with ... Read More »

Forgive Your Enemies

The preacher’s Sunday sermon was ‘Forgive Your Enemies.’ He asked how many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 % held up their hands. He then repeated his question once more. All responded, except one elderly lady. “Mrs. Johnson, are you not willing to forgive your ... Read More »

Complete & Finished!

Can any one say the difference between complete and finished? No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished.’ However, in a linguistic conference, held in London England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was the clever winner. His final challenge was this. Some say there is no difference between ‘Complete’ and ‘Finished.’ Please explain the difference ... Read More »

Early Dementia Test

It’s that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercising the brain is as important as exercising muscles. As we grow older, it’s important to keep mentally alert. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the test presented here to determine ... Read More »

Finding Perfect Men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!” An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all you want, get a ... Read More »

Biggest lie

Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom. The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?” One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.” “You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.” The ... Read More »

Church members…

Three couples went in to see the minister about becoming new members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the third couple was newly married. Two weeks went ... Read More »

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