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Before we go any further

The guy says, before we go any further, I should warn you that I’m hung like a baby. His new husband looked a bit disappointed, but then said well thats ok, now I have something to tell you. This isn’t really my penis, I use a little padding. He takes his clothes off and sure enough he is as small ... Read More »

Growing Wild

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it. He goes to the beach, completely undresses and ... Read More »

The Snail

A man was sitting in his house when he heard a tapping on the door. He went to see who it was. He opened the door and looked around he then heard a tiny voice, “Hey mister, could you lend me 10 bucks?” The man looked down and saw a snail sitting on his porch. He said, “What do you ... Read More »

Greeting Card Quest

A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store. After a few minutes the clerk became curious and asked, “Just what is it you’re looking for, sonny? Birthday greeting? Message to a sick friend? Anniversary congratulations to your mom and dad?” The boy shook his head, “No.” “Then what kind of card is ... Read More »

The Card Game

Two couples were playing cards. Jeff accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Dave’s wife, Sandy, was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jeff hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later when Jeff went to the kitchen to get some refreshments Sandy ... Read More »

Relatives….

A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the husband replied, “In-laws.” Read More »

Doctors & Diagnosis

A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring . The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds , so the community could become used to a new doctor. At the first house , a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor ... Read More »

The Local sheriff was looking

The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her “Okay, what is 1 and 1?” “Eleven”, she replies. The sheriff thinks to himself, “That’s not what I wanted, but I guess she’s right!” “What two days of the week begin with the letter T?” he asks. “Today ... Read More »

The Dentist

Man goes to see dentist and asks “How much to pull two wisdom teeth?” Dentist says “$100.00.” Man says, “too much. Can’t you do it for less?” Dentist says “I can do it for $50 if I cut out the novacaine.” Man says, “that’s better but still too much. Can’t we do it any cheaper?” Dentist says, “I could let ... Read More »

Texan in Hell

A Texan dies and goes to Hell. Like with all new arrivals, Satan enjoys messing with the Texan. First, Satan turns the thermostat to 100 degrees with 80% humidity. Satan goes to check on the Texan only to become angry when he sees the Texan reclining in a lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, “This is great! Just like Texas ... Read More »

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