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Trying to Please Mama

The first woman was elected U.S. president. She called her mom to make sure she was coming to the inauguration. “I don’t know, dear. What would I wear?” “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll send a designer to help you.” “But you know I need special foods for my diet.” “Mom, I’m going to the president. I can get you the food ... Read More »

The Worst Age

“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!” “Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes ... Read More »

What is Vicious Circle???

The boss calls his secretary and says, “Get ready for the weekend, We are going on a business trip.” The secretary calls husband and says, “Me and my boss are going on a business trip for 2 days so takecare of yourself.” The husband calls his girlfriend and says, “My wife is going on a business trip come home we ... Read More »

The Helpful Priest

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He ... Read More »

It was

Two prisoners are talking about their crimes: George: ‘I robbed a bank, and they gave me 20 years’ Herman: ‘Hmm. I killed a man, and I’m here for 3 days’ George: ‘WHAT!? I rob a bank and get 20 years; you kill a man and get 3 days!?’ Herman: ‘Yeah, it was a lawyer.’ Read More »

Southwest

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?” The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told ... Read More »

Why Men Wear Earrings

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” “Don’t make such a big deal out ... Read More »

You are ABCDEF…

After 15 years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her. The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said, “ABCDEFGHIJK.” “What does that mean?” She asked. “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot!!!” he replied. Wife Smiling asked, “So sweet of you honey. What about IJK?” He replied, “I’m Just Kidding! Read More »

After the wedding

On their second night after the wedding, the two blissful newlyweds shut off the lights and crawl under the sheets. Turning anxiously towards his bride, he tenderly informs his wife that tonight he wants a hand job instead of the usual stuff. She, being the proper girl that she is, had absolutely no idea what a “hand job” was. So, ... Read More »

Thirsty

A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the bartender’s attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, “I’ll have another waterloo.” The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the man next to him and says, “I guess ... Read More »

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