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Friend call

After being with a new girl all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, ... Read More »

The Usual Tip

Johnny paid his way through college by being a waiter in a restaurant. “What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer. “Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.” “Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, here’s twenty dollars.” “Thanks. I’ll ... Read More »

Sergeants

Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Leroys says, “Hey, Jasper, there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in.” “But we’s privates,” protests Jasper. “We’s sergeants now,” says Leroy, pulling him inside. “Now, Jasper, I’m a-gonna sit down and have me ... Read More »

Highly Religious Horse

There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to ... Read More »

I thought..

A policeman was checking up about a robbery in a home. The policeman asked the lady of the house, “This is the messiest room I ever saw. You should have reported the robbery right away.” The woman said, “I didn’t know it was a robbery. I thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt!” Read More »

Give Her What She Wants

Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, “Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead.” The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints. Read More »

Footprint

A man sitting at a lunch counter has just been served his food when he calls the waiter back. “Waiter,” he says, “can you explain why there is a footprint in the middle of this food that I ordered?” “Yes, sir,” replies the waiter. “You rushed in here, asked for a large omelet and told me to step on it.” Read More »

For posterity

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonoṛṛhoea. Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonoṛṛhoea.” Replied the widow, “Yes, I know that he died ... Read More »

Why ?

A newlywed couple is getting ready for bed when the husband says, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s okay for me to see your body. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?” She opens her robe and lets her husband see her naked body. And he says, “You are so so so beautiful. Can I get ... Read More »

Brown eyes cheat

A man was talking to his friend at the bar. The friend said, “Did you know that 9 out of 10 women with brown eyes cheat on their husbands?” “No, I didn’t know that,” The man replied. “So what color are your wife’s eyes?” asked the friend. The man replied, “I’m too drunk to remember. Geez, I better go home ... Read More »

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