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Give Me More Pockets

“If you put your hand in your right pocket and found 20 dollars, and put your hand in the left pocket and found 50 dollars, what would you do?” “I would immediately rush to my tailor and ask him to stitch more pockets on my trousers!” Read More »

The Brave Wife

A husband and wife entered a dentist’s office. The wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or novocaine because I am in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You are a brave woman,” said the dentist. “Now, show me which tooth it is.” The wife turns to her husband and says, ... Read More »

Probably in the carburetor

A man’s car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. “Your trouble is probably in the carburetor,” said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. He told the farmer his story. “Was it a large red cow ... Read More »

Join the Army

A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army. “But wait a minute,” said the listener, “She’ll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too, won’t she?” “Sure,” replied the man. “Well? Won’t they find out?” “And who’s gonna tell?” Read More »

You’d Probably Live Longer

A couple of hours into a visit with my mother she noticed I hadn’t lit up a cigarette once. “Are you trying to kick the habit?” “No,” I replied. “I’ve got a cold and I don’t smoke when I’m not feeling well.” “You know,” she observed, “you’d probably live longer if you were sick more often.” Read More »

Midday Surprise

The week we got our puppy, I caught a stomach bug and stayed home from work one day. That afternoon, my wife called to check up on me. “I’m okay,” I said. “But guess who pooped in the dining room?” My wife’s response, “Who?” Read More »

Changing Voice

My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up. Tyler was exuberant at the prospect. “Cool!” he said. “I hope I get a German accent.” Read More »

Teacher Test

To make his class interesting, an English language teacher asked a grade 3 student to challenge him in an English test. The student wrote this word on the classroom board, SIDANDTED, and asked his teacher to explain its meaning. The teacher looked at the word for some time and even searched for its meaning in the dictionary. After several minutes ... Read More »

Who’s counting

A lady called up a pet store and said, “I’d like to order 2,000 cockroaches.” “What in the world do you want with 2,000 cockroaches?” asked the astonished clerk. “Well,” she replied, “I am moving today, and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found it.” Read More »

Volume Control

It seemed that all our appliances had broken in the same week, and repairs were straining our budget. So when I picked up the kids from school and our Jeep started making rattling sounds, I decided that rather than burden my husband, I’d deal with it. When we got home, the kids rushed right into the house with the news. ... Read More »

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