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  • Barbershop

    A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client […] More

  • Man of this house

    A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man […] More

  • Anything I can do?

    A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. “That’s such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn’t there anything I can do?” pleaded the patient. “Marry a lawyer,” the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your […] More

  • Late for Work

    Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went […] More

  • Send help!

    A frightened man dialed 911 to report an assault. “I was coming in the back door,” said the man to the dispatcher, “when I was struck on the forehead. Luckily, I was able to get into the house and lock the door. Please send help right away!” After advising him to stay calm, the dispatcher […] More

  • Cheer up!

    “Cheer up,” the lawyer advised his recently divorced colleague, “there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” “Maybe so,” replied his despondent friend, “but the last one took all my bait.” More

  • Slander

    A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. “Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them,” instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. “But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear,” she protested. “Then,” said the attorney, “just whisper them to the judge.” More

  • I figured..

    One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted-living apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court, on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything […] More

  • An Apple A Day

    Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?” “That’s what they say,” said his Dad. “Well, give me an apple quick! I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!” More

  • Get to work!

    A guy runs into his office, wearing only a hat and carrying a briefcase. His boss stops him and says, “What are you doing, Cliff? Do you realize you’re naked? Shouldn’t this be your day off?” Cliff calmly explains that he was on a party when suddenly the lights went out. Some voice said, “Gentleman, […] More

  • Only Time I Use My Head

    An elderly lady and an orthopedic surgeon were travelling in an elevator together. The doors started to shut as the lady was trying to get out of the doors. The surgeon kindly put his head in between the doors so the lady could get out. “Thank you very much,” said the lady, “but why did […] More

  • What do you have?

    A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?” The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.” The bartender says, “What do you have?” The guy says, “75 cents.” More

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