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Some Last Minute Requests

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, “Give it to me straight. How long have I got?” The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night. The man then said, “Call for my lawyer.” When the lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physician to stand on one ... Read More »

The will to live…

A man went to his lawyer and said “I would like to make a will but I don’t know exactly how to go about it.” The lawyer says “No problem, leave it all to me”. The man looks somewhat upset … “Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I’d like to leave a little to ... Read More »

NASA Mars Mission

NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. “One million dollars,” the engineer answered. “And ... Read More »

Haven’t I seen your face before?

– “Haven’t I seen your face before?” a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. – “You have, Your Honor,” the man answered hopefully. “I gave your son violin lessons last winter.” – “Ah, yes,” recalled the judge. “Twenty years!” Read More »

Classic Comeback

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility. Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the ... Read More »

Sue Over The Property

Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a little out of hand. God heard the ruckus and arrived to find his fence completely smashed by the wild partiers. He called the devil over ... Read More »

The Truth Be Told

A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the ... Read More »

Lawyer’s Wife

There was a Lawyer who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my ... Read More »

Bad news

A man sat in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.” “That’s the bad news?” asked the man, incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible news is that it’s of you ... Read More »

Special?

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants ... Read More »

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