Joke of the day
Home » Lawyer Jokes (page 4)

Category Archives: Lawyer Jokes

Feed Subscription

Special?

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants ... Read More »

Orange

The professor of a contract law class asked one of his better students, “If you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?” The student replied, “Here’s an orange.” The professor was outraged. “No! No! Think like a lawyer!” The student then replied, “Okay. I’d tell him `I hereby give and convey to you all and ... Read More »

Most Preferred Husbands

Believe it or not…. Lawyers are the most preferred husbands for ladies. Surprised? Don’t be, I asked a girl why do you prefer a lawyer to marry? She Said: They bow their head while entering the room and again while going out. They say ‘your honor,’ ‘my lord’ before and after every world. They don’t have male ego because they ... Read More »

About Titanic

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about ... Read More »

Lawyers Don’t Lie

A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home. When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the ... Read More »

Screwed

A man walks into a bar and sees a good-looking woman sitting on a stool. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going?” She turns to him, looks deep into his eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, it doesn’t matter.” He says, “No kidding! I’m a lawyer too. What ... Read More »

Which one

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist! Read More »

Two mothers-in-law

Danny was being tried for Bigamy in a court. After the judge passed his sentence, he asked Danny, “Have you learnt your lesson and realized what a bad thing it is to have more than one wife.” “Yes, your honor, I have,” he replied. “What is it that you realized?” the judge asked. Danny replied, “Having two wives means having ... Read More »

The Will

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business ... Read More »

Are X-Rays Bad ?

Just as a young man was about to get a chest X-ray, the equipment slipped and his pelvic region was X-Rayed instead. “Oh, no!”, cried the lab technician, “Your reproductive organs just received a huge dose of radiation!” “What does that mean?” asked the worried young man. “It’s serious,” replied the technician. “All your children will be lawyers!” Read More »

Scroll To Top