Lawyer Jokes

A man sat in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.” “That’s the bad news?” asked the man, incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible news […] More

A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in […] More

Just as a young man was about to get a chest X-ray, the equipment slipped and his pelvic region was X-Rayed instead. “Oh, no!”, cried the lab technician, “Your reproductive organs just received a huge dose of radiation!” “What does that mean?” asked the worried young man. “It’s serious,” replied the technician. “All your children […] More

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. “Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question. “Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” […] More

Two lions were lying around in the jungle. One of them his licking his a$$hole. The other lion asked him, “Why are you licking your a$$hole?” The second lion replied, “Aww, I just ate a lawyer and I’m trying to get the taste out of my mouth.” More