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I’m Still Ahead

My wife and I were comparing notes the other day. “I have a higher IQ, did better on my SAT’s, and make more money than you,” she pointed out. “Yeah, but when you step back and look at the big picture, I’m still ahead,” I said. She looked mystified. “How do you figure?” “I married better,” I replied. Read More »

Allow me to explain..

In the middle of an argument a man said to his wife, Sissi, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time!” Sissi responded calmly, “Allow me to explain… the good Lord made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and he made me stupid so I would be attracted ... Read More »

What A Husband Remembers

Wife: “You remember when you bought me this blue dress?” Husband: “I don’t remember.” Wife: “It was on my birthday! And this red gown?” Husband: “On your birthday?” Wife: “No… on our anniversary! Don’t you remember?” Husband: “Honey, I’m not good at remembering colors or dresses. I better at remembering prices, those I remember very well!” Read More »

Elevator pinch

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, “That will teach you to pinch!” Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he ... Read More »

Some advice

When a woman in an office became engaged to be married, a colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest.” “How long have you been married?” the woman asked. “Ten years,” she replied. Read More »

A Porsche costs

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.” “With what money?” demanded his parents. We know what a Porsche costs…” “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.” So the parents began to yell even ... Read More »

What’s your excuse?

Wife: “What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?” Husband: “I was golfing with friends, my dear.” Wife: “What? At 2AM?!” Husband: “Yes dear, we used night clubs.” Read More »

Would you remarry?

One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room and asked, “If I died, would you remarry?” Peter thought for a second then said, “Yeah I guess I would”. Then his the wife asked, “Well, would you have her as your golfing partner?” Peter replied, “Yep I probably would do that too”. “But surely you wouldn’t ... Read More »

Going On Vacation

A housewife answered the door bell to find two beggars outside. “So you’re begging in two’s now?” she asked. “No, only for today,” one of them replied. “I’m showing my replacement the ropes before going on vacation.” Read More »

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