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Salad for Dinner

I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, “Are we having salad for dinner?” “Yes we are, how did you know?” she asked. I replied, “Because I can’t hear the smoke alarm.” Read More »

Didn’t expect

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn’t tell the husband. That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story: Excuse me, my dear, my stomach aches, ... Read More »

Taking It With You

Lying on his deathbed, the rich, miserly old man calls to his long-suffering wife. “I want to take all my money with me,” he tells her. “So promise me you’ll put it in the casket.” After the man dies, his widow attends the memorial service with her best friend. Just before the undertaker closes the coffin, she places a small ... Read More »

Half-Fare Special

One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses are still pouring in asking, “What trip?” Read More »

Wishful thinking

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description. She said, “He’s 35 years old, 6 foot 4, has dark eyes, dark wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and is good to the children.” The next-door neighbor protested, “Your husband is ... Read More »

Hunting With A Wife

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. Ibn the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “when did you bag him?” The host said, “that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My wife.” Read More »

Attitude

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I cant wear your ... Read More »

Unlucky Husbands

Two women friends met after many years. “Tell me,” said one, “What happened to your son?” “My son? the poor, poor lad!” sighed the other. “What an unfortunate marriage he made to a girl who won’t do a stitch of work in the house. She won’t cook, she won’t sew, she won’t wash or clean. All she does is sleep ... Read More »

In the graveyard!

An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral. Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there. About two months later a priest saw the ... Read More »

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