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Elevator pinch

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, “That will teach you to pinch!” Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he ... Read More »

Some advice

When a woman in an office became engaged to be married, a colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest.” “How long have you been married?” the woman asked. “Ten years,” she replied. Read More »

A Porsche costs

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, “Where did you get that car?” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.” “With what money?” demanded his parents. We know what a Porsche costs…” “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.” So the parents began to yell even ... Read More »

What’s your excuse?

Wife: “What’s your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?” Husband: “I was golfing with friends, my dear.” Wife: “What? At 2AM?!” Husband: “Yes dear, we used night clubs.” Read More »

Would you remarry?

One night, Peter was home watching TV when his wife entered the room and asked, “If I died, would you remarry?” Peter thought for a second then said, “Yeah I guess I would”. Then his the wife asked, “Well, would you have her as your golfing partner?” Peter replied, “Yep I probably would do that too”. “But surely you wouldn’t ... Read More »

Going On Vacation

A housewife answered the door bell to find two beggars outside. “So you’re begging in two’s now?” she asked. “No, only for today,” one of them replied. “I’m showing my replacement the ropes before going on vacation.” Read More »

Goddess of wisdom

During a museum tour the guide explains, “Here you can see the beautiful statue of Athena…” “Excuse me, madam,” a visitor interjects. “Who is that man behind her? Is he her husband?” “No, Athena wasn’t married: she was the goddess of wisdom.” Read More »

True bravery

True bravery is arriving home stinking drunk after a very late night out with the boys, then being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and still having the guts to ask: “Are you cleaning, or were you flying somewhere?” Read More »

Anger management

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush. Read More »

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