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Idea of marrying..

A young man proposes marriage to his sweetheart. The girl replies, “If I marry you, will you promise to give up smoking?” “Yes, I will,” came the reply. “And drinking?” “I will give up drinking as well.” “And going to the club with your cronies?” “Yes, I will.” “And what else will you give up for my sake?” she asked ... Read More »

Don’t move until..

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired ... Read More »

Just Part of My Job

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.” “Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I can’t ... Read More »

I thought..

A policeman was checking up about a robbery in a home. The policeman asked the lady of the house, “This is the messiest room I ever saw. You should have reported the robbery right away.” The woman said, “I didn’t know it was a robbery. I thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt!” Read More »

For posterity

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonoṛṛhoea. Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonoṛṛhoea.” Replied the widow, “Yes, I know that he died ... Read More »

Why ?

A newlywed couple is getting ready for bed when the husband says, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s okay for me to see your body. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?” She opens her robe and lets her husband see her naked body. And he says, “You are so so so beautiful. Can I get ... Read More »

After ten years

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, “When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it’s all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking.” Read More »

Keep an eye on

A man has to leave the country on business and he entrusts with his best friend the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, he was to be notified immediately. After about a week of no news the business man received a telegram: “The man who comes to visit your wife ... Read More »

Complete and finished

There is a subtle but important difference between the words “complete” and “finished.” When you marry the right one, you are complete. When you marry the wrong one, you are finished. And if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are completely finished. Read More »

Who’s been?

A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling “Who’s been screwing my wife?” A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, “You don’t have enough ammo, mate!” Read More »

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