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Man of this house

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and ... Read More »

Anything I can do?

A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. “That’s such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn’t there anything I can do?” pleaded the patient. “Marry a lawyer,” the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your life.” Read More »

Feelings

A woman is breaking up with her fiance. She tells him, “I can’t marry you. My feelings for you have changed.” The man says, “OK, I want my ring back.” The woman says, “I can’t give it back to you. My feelings for the ring haven’t changed”. Read More »

NOT to say!

What NOT to say on your wedding night… 1. You woke me up for that? 2. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? 3. Are you sure I don’t know you from somewhere? Read More »

I would like to try it

Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The driver says, “That is great. Me and my wife do that every night.” The passenger replies, “My wife is conservative, she likes the old fashioned way. But if you tell me how you get your wife to do this, I would like ... Read More »

The Birthday gift…

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the world was I gonna find a fake Jeep?” Read More »

Remember..

A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age.” Read More »

Sorry for him

A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband. “After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn’t you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?” the defense attorney prompted. “Yes,” she replied, “I think there was one moment when I felt sorry ... Read More »

About reincarnation

A wife was talking to her husband about reincarnation. “What exactly is reincarnation?” he asked. “It’s when you die and come back as something completely different,” she explained. “So,” he suggested, “I could come back as a pig?” She sighed wearily. “You’re not listening, are you?” Read More »

Watch them or the game?

A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest. Looking at them, the wife said to her husband “I don’t know whether to ... Read More »

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