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I would like to try it

Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The driver says, “That is great. Me and my wife do that every night.” The passenger replies, “My wife is conservative, she likes the old fashioned way. But if you tell me how you get your wife to do this, I would like ... Read More »

The Birthday gift…

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the world was I gonna find a fake Jeep?” Read More »

Remember..

A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his prize possession, even to the grocery store, which was a few blocks from the house. After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as she departed, “Remember, if you have an accident, the newspaper will print your age.” Read More »

Sorry for him

A woman was on the witness stand, accused of poisoning her husband. “After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the breakfast table and watched your husband drink it. Tell me, didn’t you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?” the defense attorney prompted. “Yes,” she replied, “I think there was one moment when I felt sorry ... Read More »

About reincarnation

A wife was talking to her husband about reincarnation. “What exactly is reincarnation?” he asked. “It’s when you die and come back as something completely different,” she explained. “So,” he suggested, “I could come back as a pig?” She sighed wearily. “You’re not listening, are you?” Read More »

Watch them or the game?

A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest. Looking at them, the wife said to her husband “I don’t know whether to ... Read More »

Seen on tv

A young man and woman were eager to enjoy a picnic in the park one Saturday noon, and they opted to go through a fast-food drive-in for a quick snack. They ordered, paid, got their bag of goodies, and headed for the park. When they opened the bag, it was full on money instead of the hamburgers they expected. They ... Read More »

End of story!

A guy calls up his ex-wife and, disguising his voice, asks to speak to himself. “Sorry, he doesn’t live here anymore, we’re divorced!” Next day, the guy does the same thing with the same results. He does this everyday for a week, and finally his ex-wife realizes who it is that keeps calling. “Look, Bozo! We’re divorced! Finito! End of ... Read More »

Plumber’s truck

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter. One afternoon he returned from work early and saw a plumber’s truck in the driveway. “Lord,” he pleaded, looking skyward, “please let my wife be having an affair.” Read More »

40th wedding anniversary

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary… The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever'”. “Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last'”. Read More »

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