Breaking News
Home » Marriage Jokes (page 5)

Category Archives: Marriage Jokes

Feed Subscription

No waves

A wealthy gentleman is taking a sea voyage around the world. After the first night at sea he walks onto the deck and says to the captain, “The sea is so calm. No waves at all. Why has the ship been wobbling the whole night.” “We’ve got five couples of newly-weds on board…” Read More »

Condo of their dreams

The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had had enough and actually pounded ... Read More »

Know nothing

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she said. “We only met a ... Read More »

Man of this house

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and ... Read More »

Anything I can do?

A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. “That’s such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn’t there anything I can do?” pleaded the patient. “Marry a lawyer,” the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your life.” Read More »

Feelings

A woman is breaking up with her fiance. She tells him, “I can’t marry you. My feelings for you have changed.” The man says, “OK, I want my ring back.” The woman says, “I can’t give it back to you. My feelings for the ring haven’t changed”. Read More »

NOT to say!

What NOT to say on your wedding night… 1. You woke me up for that? 2. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door? 3. Are you sure I don’t know you from somewhere? Read More »

I would like to try it

Two guys are driving along in a car when they see two dogs mating in someone’s yard. The driver says, “That is great. Me and my wife do that every night.” The passenger replies, “My wife is conservative, she likes the old fashioned way. But if you tell me how you get your wife to do this, I would like ... Read More »

The Birthday gift…

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the world was I gonna find a fake Jeep?” Read More »

Scroll To Top