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Life after

“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied. “That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.” Read More »

Trouble Sleeping

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked. “Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.” “I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is \\$80 an hour.” “That’s not bad,” she replied. “How much for all night?” Read More »

Train Test

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: “What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?” Tom says: “I would switch one train ... Read More »

Imagination

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel manager’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the manager asked. “When you applied for the job, you told us you had 5 years’ experience. Now we discover this is the first job you’ve ever had.” “Well,” the young man said, “in your ad you ... Read More »

Need a Break!

I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb ... Read More »

Get a job!

The Social Security said to Johnny, “Why don’t you get a job?” “What for?” he replied. “So you can put some money in the bank until one day you’ll have enough to retire and you can stop working.” “But I’m not working now,” he retorted. Read More »

Ex-boss

A man rings up his ex-boss but is told by the secretary that Mr Grinder has passed away. All day the man continues to ring until the secretary eventually says, “Why do you keep calling?” “I just like to hear you say it,” says the man happily. Read More »

Pretty sick

A man rings up his boss to tell him he won’t be in to work. “I’m sorry, I’m sick,” he tells him. “Sick again?” says the boss angrily “This seems to be happening a lot. How sick are you?” “Pretty sick” replies the man. “I’m in bed with my sister.” Read More »

Talented Dog

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: “HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.” A short time afterward, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked ... Read More »

Do the same thing

A boss called one of his workers into the office. “Now listen, Simms, you’re going to have to pull your socks up or I’ll have to sack you. For the past few weeks you’ve been constantly late, you’ve made silly mistakes and you’ve not been civil to your fellow workers. What do you have to say for yourself?” “I’m sorry, Sir. Things aren’t right ... Read More »

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