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Does Anyone Know CPR?

I was drinking a margarita when a guy stood up and asked, “Does anyone here know CPR?” Someone else stood up and said, “Yeah, I know the whole alphabet.” We all laughed and laughed and laughed… well, except this one guy. Read More »

Habitual Drinker

The poor man was such a habitual drinker that even he was finally convinced that he was an alcoholic. At his family’s urging he went to see a psychiatrist. After a lengthy consultation, the doctor sternly ordered that hereafter, every time the patient got drunk he was to report his transgression the very next day. A few days later the ... Read More »

Thirsty

A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the bartender’s attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, “I’ll have another waterloo.” The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the man next to him and says, “I guess ... Read More »

Thank goodness

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.” Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. “Let’s go.” Breathing a sigh ... Read More »

Warm Beer!!!

A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer. Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar bills to the bartender the ... Read More »

Having a Beer

A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. He takes a drink out of one… sets it down. Takes a drink out of the second… sets it down. Takes a drink out of the third one… sets it down and repeats this process until all three beers are gone. The man then leaves. On the same day the ... Read More »

Finding Perfect Men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!” An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s all you want, get a ... Read More »

Beer Machismo

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said “Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please.” The bartender gave him the drink. Then the Budweiser President orders, “The King Of Beers — Budweiser.” The ... Read More »

Getting Drunk

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me.” His friend says, “Don’t worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry ... Read More »

Business

A man walked into a cafe,went to the bar and ordered a beer. “Certainly, Sir , that’ll be one cent.” One Cent?” the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?” “A nickel,” the barman replied. “A nickel?” exclaimed the man. “Where’s the guy who owns this ... Read More »

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