Party Pubbing Jokes

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  • Habitual Drinker

    The poor man was such a habitual drinker that even he was finally convinced that he was an alcoholic. At his family’s urging he went to see a psychiatrist. After a lengthy consultation, the doctor sternly ordered that hereafter, every time the patient got drunk he was to report his transgression the very next day. […] More

  • Thirsty

    A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the bartender’s attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, “I’ll have another waterloo.” The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like. The thirsty man points to the man next to […] More

  • Thank goodness

    A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.” Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. […] More

  • Warm Beer!!!

    A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer. Then it is time to pay and instead of giving three $1 dollar […] More

  • Having a Beer

    A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. He takes a drink out of one… sets it down. Takes a drink out of the second… sets it down. Takes a drink out of the third one… sets it down and repeats this process until all three beers are gone. The man then leaves. […] More

  • Finding Perfect Men

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. “The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!” An old granny overheard and spoke up, “Honey, if that’s […] More

  • Beer Machismo

    After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said “Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please.” The bartender gave him the drink. Then the Budweiser President orders, “The King […] More

  • Getting Drunk

    Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, “Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me.” His friend says, “Don’t worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you […] More

  • Business

    A man walked into a cafe,went to the bar and ordered a beer. “Certainly, Sir , that’ll be one cent.” One Cent?” the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?” “A nickel,” the barman replied. “A nickel?” exclaimed the man. “Where’s […] More

  • Another drink?

    One night in Paris, an American tourist dropped into a pavement cafe late one night and, after a couple of drinks, realized he was the last person in the bar except for a man sleeping at one of the tables. The man called the proprietor over and asked for his bill. “Would monsieur care for […] More

  • Drunk date

    A guy enters a bar and orders two shots of vodka. He drinks the first and dumps the second on his right hand. He then orders a second round of shots, drinks the first and again dumps the second on his right hand. The bartender sees this and becomes curious as the guy orders a […] More

  • Where’s My Car?

    A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into then rubbing the roofs of the cars. The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. “What the heck are you doing ?” he asks the drunk. “I’m looking for my car, and I can’t find it.” he replies. […] More

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