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You’re Wrong, Officer

The police officer approaches the driver, “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.” The lady driver looks at the officer and replies, “You’re wrong, officer, it’s only my hat that makes me look that old.” Read More »

Scratch, Scratch

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident – body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: “Head on boulevard.” He then scratches out his spelling error. “Head on boulevard.” Nope, doesn’t look right – scratch scratch. “Head on boulevard…” dang it! Scratch, scratch. ... Read More »

Can I Park Here?

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, “Can I park here?” “No, sorry.” says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “Well, they didn’t ask.” Read More »

Go Ahead and Do It

Police officer talks to a driver: “Your tail light is broken, your tires must be changed, and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars!!” [Pause] Driver: “Alright, go ahead and do it. They want twice as much as that at the garage. Read More »

Send help!

A frightened man dialed 911 to report an assault. “I was coming in the back door,” said the man to the dispatcher, “when I was struck on the forehead. Luckily, I was able to get into the house and lock the door. Please send help right away!” After advising him to stay calm, the dispatcher sent an officer to investigate. ... Read More »

Why not?

A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. “I can’t do that, officer.” “Why not?” “Because I’m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube.” “Okay, we’ll just get a urine sample down at the ... Read More »

Have you learned anything?

I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop. “So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop. “Yes, I have,” I began. “I’ve learned it’s time to find a new way home from work.” Read More »

It isn’t that serious

“How long have you been driving without a tail light?” asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. “Come on, now,” he said, “you don’t have to ... Read More »

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