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The Local sheriff was looking

The Local sheriff was looking for a new deputy. When a blonde walks in to try for the job, he asks her “Okay, what is 1 and 1?” “Eleven”, she replies. The sheriff thinks to himself, “That’s not what I wanted, but I guess she’s right!” “What two days of the week begin with the letter T?” he asks. “Today ... Read More »

Speeding Ticket!

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding. Man: No, I wasn’t. Officer: Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn’t speeding. Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.) Man: Would I get another ticket if I ... Read More »

Try To Spell That Name

A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, “I’m Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my sister in Columbia.” As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, “Well… OK… but ... Read More »

Drunk driver?

A cop waited outside a popular pub hoping to nab a drink-driver. At closing time, as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his ... Read More »

Borrowed the Car

After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned. ... Read More »

You’re Wrong, Officer

The police officer approaches the driver, “When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least.” The lady driver looks at the officer and replies, “You’re wrong, officer, it’s only my hat that makes me look that old.” Read More »

Scratch, Scratch

A policeman is on scene at a terrible accident – body parts everywhere. He is making his notes of where the pieces are and comes across a head. He writes in his notebook: “Head on boulevard.” He then scratches out his spelling error. “Head on boulevard.” Nope, doesn’t look right – scratch scratch. “Head on boulevard…” dang it! Scratch, scratch. ... Read More »

Can I Park Here?

A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, “Can I park here?” “No, sorry.” says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “Well, they didn’t ask.” Read More »

Is there a problem?

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money?” The driver ... Read More »

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