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Golf in Heaven

Bill, the avid golfer, contacts a “Medium” and asks if there is a golf course in Heaven. The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to him in a few days. After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium. “Well,” said Bill, “What ... Read More »

Outdoorsman

During my medical examination my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way: “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk, about 7 miaDuring my medical examination my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day this way: “Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk, ... Read More »

Skiing Backwards..

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she found a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself. Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards, out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg. The ... Read More »

Runner’s Euphoria

A friend of mine had resisted efforts to get him to run with our jogging group until his doctor told him he had to exercise. Soon thereafter, he reluctantly joined us for our 5:30 am jogs on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. After a month of running, we decided that my friend might be hooked, especially when he said he had ... Read More »

Public speaking skills

The veteran politician, not known for his public speaking skills, was going to give a speech at the Olympics. He looked at the teleprompter and began, “O, O, O, O, O.” An aid quickly ran over and told him, “That is the logo sir.” Read More »

Great team

Coach: We have a great team this year. So far we have had no losses, no draws and no goals scored against us. Reporter: How many games have you played? Coach: The first one is next Sunday. Read More »

Ice Fishing

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long, ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all and the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secret is. mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm ... Read More »

Game 7 of the NBA finals

It’s game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, “No, the seat’s empty.” The first man exclaims, “What?!? Who in their right mind would ... Read More »

I had this wild, vivid dream..

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!” The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too.Then ... Read More »

Worst Golfer!

One day, John Smith decided to go to a new golf course where no one knew him, just to get away and see if he could do better elsewhere. He hired a caddy to guide him around the course. After another day of slices, duff shots, misread putts and bad temper, he was obviously upset. He turned to the caddy ... Read More »

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