September 2014

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Growing Tomatoes

    A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentlemen,”What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?” The gentlemen […] More

  • Passing A Parrot

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly.” Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same […] More

  • Drinking Problem

    Fred was having trouble with a drinking problem and swore that he would correct it with sheer willpower. He had decided to walk straight past the pub without going in. As he approached the doors he kept repeating to himself, “You can do it. You can do it.” The pressure was tough, but Fred persevered, […] More

  • Lickety-split

    The businesswoman, in town for an important meeting, checked into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags. Noticing that her best suit had been badly wrinkled during her flight, she telephoned the desk and asked the hotel’s valet service to pick it up for pressing. Almost immediately after she hung up the […] More

  • Cuckoo Clock

    At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself. The next day, my wife asked what […] More

  • Cutting wood

    This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his backyard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have a lot of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. […] More

  • Don’t Mess with Kids

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would […] More

  • Be strong honey

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top […] More

  • Wedding night

    A guy on his wedding night in the hotel says to his new wife “geez, I never realized you had such big breasts.” The wife gets all upset and throws him out. While he is sitting in the hall another guy comes out down the hall. “What happened?” asks the first man. “Well” replies the […] More

  • Wait Your Turn!

    A youngster rushed into a barber’s shop and asked to be given a haircut and a shave immediately. “You wait your turn young man,” said the barber, “I will get to you after the others waiting before you have been attended to. It will take an hour or two.” The young fellow ran out of […] More

  • The Secret Airbase

    United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this “secret” base. The aircraft was immediately impounded and the pilot was interrogated. The pilot’s story was that – he took off from Vegas, got lost & spotted the Base just […] More

  • Grandma’s Boyfriend

    A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?” Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all […] More

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