February 2016

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Getting Married!

    A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, “Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?” There […] More

  • Change of Mind!

    Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, “Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?” “What do you mean, […] More

  • For my husband

    A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It`s for my husband,” she tells the clerk. “Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk. “Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!” More

  • Golfing Lessons

    The new golfer asked the pro, “How much for a golf lesson?” “They’re 13 lessons for $150 or a single lesson for $1,000.” “Why do you charge $1,000 for a single lesson yet offer a series for only $150?!” “If you expect to learn golf in one lesson, you’re expecting a miracle. And if you’re […] More

  • God and Gifts

    Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…” “I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…” “I PRAY FOR A […] More

  • Not Again!!!

    After four years of separation, my wife and I finally divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals column of the local newspaper. After reading through all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in terms of age […] More

  • Good advice…

    A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when, all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse goes, “BARK!!” and the cat runs away. “See?” says the mother mouse to her baby, “how important it is for you to learn a foreign language?” More

  • The good news

    A man goes into the hospital for some tests. The medical staff knocks him out, and when he comes around there is a doctor peering over him, pulling up his eyelid and wielding the reflex hammer. The doctor says: “Ah, I’m glad you’re awake. I’m afraid I have some good news and some bad news.” […] More

  • I’m Jesus Christ!!!

    A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, “I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, “No, son, you’re not.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, “No, son, you’re not.” The drunk says, Look, I can prove it. He walks back into […] More

  • Kindly propose !

    Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he […] More

  • The Angry Wife

    One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend. “Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house..” “Did he get anything?” asked my friend. “Yes,” I said. “A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home […] More

  • God Is With Us

    Two priests were riding very fast on a motorcycle. They were promptly stopped by a policeman who said, “What do you think you are doing?“ “What if you have an accident? The priests say, “Don’t worry, my son. God is with us.” The policeman says, “In that case, I have to book you. Three people […] More

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