2017

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Lord, Don’t Let Me Be Late!

    A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!”As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and […] More

  • Forgive Me Father

    About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.”‘ “But I made him agree to pay me 200 Euros for […] More

  • Who Is That?

    A young boy was looking through some old family photos and asked his mother, “Who is the guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?” “That’s your father.” “Then who’s that man who lives with us now?” More

  • Non-Committal Echo

    Guy goes to the top of the mountain and screams, “I LOVE YOU!” He waits for the echo. It takes a while, but he finally hears it. Echo replies, “I have a boyfriend!” More

  • We Can

    On the farm where I was raised, home canning was a big thing. Most folks had a garden and ate out of it all summer, the surplus was put up in bottles for the winter. The common saying was: “WE EAT WHAT WE CAN, AND WHAT WE CAN’T, WE CAN.” More

  • Spendthrift

    A father and his son were looking at a nativity scene in a London gallery. It was Titian’s world-famous painting of the scene at Bethlehem. The boy said, “Dad, why is the baby lying in such a crude cradle in a pile of straw?” “Well, son,” explained the father, “they were poor, and they couldn’t […] More

  • Are you in great pain?

    Doctor: You have a broken leg, a broken arm, four fractured ribs, and probably a brain concussion. Are you in great pain? Patient: Only when I laugh! More

  • How did you guess?

    The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention.”Johnny,” she said, “If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I? “Thirty-four,” Johnny answered unhesitatingly. The teacher replied “Well, that’s not far from my actual age. Tell me…how […] More

  • Did I step on your toe?

    At the movie theater, a young man returning to his seat taps the arm of a woman in the last seat in the row. “Excuse me,” he says, “but did I step on your toe on the way out?” “As a matter of fact, you did,” says the woman, expecting an apology. “Oh good,” says […] More

  • How Do You Get To Heaven?

    “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class. “NO!” the children all answered. “If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat […] More

  • Excuses, Excuses

    Jones came into the office an hour late for the third time in one week and found the boss waiting for him. “What’s the story this time, Jones?” he asked sarcastically. “Let’s hear a good excuse for a change.” Jones sighed, “Everything went wrong this morning, Boss. My wife decided to drive me to the […] More

  • The Job Interview

    When hiring new staff at her public library, my daughter always asks the applicants what sort of supervision they’d be most comfortable with. One genius answered, “I’ve always thought Superman’s X-ray vision would be cool.” More

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