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  • Who Is Calling?

    The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational. Jim answered, “We’ve got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in.” There was a stony silence for a second or two. “Do you know who you are […] More

  • Hospital Trolley

    A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything […] More

  • Sharing Everything

    A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then […] More

  • Assignment Difficulty

    An elementary school teacher decides to pole the class on the difficulty of last night’s homework assignment: How many people were able to complete the assignment without parents help? About 25% of the class raises their hands. How many people we able to complete the assignment with the help of a parent? About 70% of […] More

  • How Much

    Hey, cabby! How much to take me to the station? “Five bucks, sir.” “And how much for my suitcase?” “No charge for the suitcase, sir.” “Okay. Take the case and I’ll walk.” More

  • Swimming is prohibited

    Officer: “Madam, swimming is prohibited in this lake.” Lady: “Why didn’t you tell me when I was removing my clothes?” Officer: “Well, that’s not prohibited.” More

  • Irresistible

    There was a man walking alone along a beach. He comes across a bottle with a cork in it. The man picks up the bottle and pulls out the cork. A loud roar follows and a genie appears. The genie says to the man, “I’m a little tired today and I can only give you […] More

  • 12 Shots

    A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Dang, why are you drinking so fast?” The guy says, “You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.” The bartender says, “What do you have?” The guy says, “75 cents.” More

  • The Playground

    Little Johnny sees his Daddy’s car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing. Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. “MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND […] More

  • The Dentist

    The dentist pulls out a Novocain needle to give the man a shot, so he can extract the man’s tooth. ‘No way! No needles. I hate needles’ the patient said. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas […] More

  • Toilet Seat

    A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the wooden toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor. She puts on a large […] More

  • Three moms

    Three moms, a Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde, get together one afternoon. They were all talking one day and the brunette says “Oh my gosh y’all I went through my daughter’s purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed” They comfort […] More

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