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  • Langauge

    Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Bronx Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can’t get them back in their cages. Finally he says, “Quick, call a lawyer!” “A lawyer? Why??” “We need someone who speaks their langauge!” More

  • Nervous

    A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, “Have you ever been married?” “Yes, sir,” said the witness in a low voice. “Once.” “Whom did you marry?” the lawyer demanded. “Well, a woman,” the witness answered timidly. The lawyer said angrily, “Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear […] More

  • The Blinker

    Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ”Yes. No. Yes. No.” More

  • Shoulda Said

    This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. ”Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?” ”Dogs can’t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I’ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.” ”Okay,” says the guy. […] More

  • Life after

    “Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied. “That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.” More

  • Swipe

    Working at a small office in the countryside, I found my colleague Katy put a credit card into her floppy drive and then pulling it out in an instant. Bewildered, I asked what was she up to. Her answer gave me the creeps. Katy replied she was shopping on the net and the website was […] More

  • Catsup

    Little Johnny’s mother was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked four-year old Johnny to answer the phone. Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. “Mommy, It’s the minister,” he said to his mother. From the […] More

  • Photographer

    The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. “It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor. As […] More

  • Blondes on a plane

    Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”. Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two […] More

  • Used Car

    It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car. They said “Heavens no, we bought it.” He said, “Then why […] More

  • The trick side

    Peter and Paul were talking about their wives. “Have you ever done it doggie style with your wife?” asked Peter. “Well, I don’t think it qualifies,” replied Paul, “She likes the trick side of it.” “Sounds like kinky stuff, huh?” said Peter. “Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and […] More

  • Labor pains

    A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman was in labor. When they got there, the doctor said, “I have invented a new machine that you might want to try. It takes some of the labor pains away from the mother and gives them to the father.” So the married couple decided that […] More

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