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  • Lighthouse keeper

    A fishing boat had crashed onto the rocks in heavy seas and the lighthouse keeper was taken to court for negligence. His lawyer asked him “Did you carry out your duties on the night in question?” The lighthouse keeper described his work, how the machinery flashed the light on and off and how he constantly […] More

  • I really tricked you

    A simple young man got very drunk one day and was caught short on the way home so he relieved himself in the local river. At that moment a policeman came along and shouted to him. “Stop that immediately, put it away and go home, you drunken sod.” The man stuck his d*ck back inside […] More

  • It’s no good

    “It’s no good, Mabel, I can’t find anything wrong with you, it must be the effects of drinking,” said the doctor. “Well, in that case I’ll come back when you’re sober!” exclaimed the woman. More

  • How can you tell?

    A very drunk man was walking down the street, one foot on the pavement and the other on the road. “I shall have to arrest you for being drunk,” said the policeman. “Drunk?” said the man. “How can you tell?” “You are walking with one foot on the pavement and the other on the road,” […] More

  • Did it hurt?

    Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee. One turns to the other and says, “Your dinky doesn’t have any skin on it.” “That’s because I’ve been circumcised,” he replies. “Cor! What does that mean?” “It means the skin’s been cut off the end.” “How old were you when they did that?” […] More

  • First child

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!” More

  • High blood pressure

    Sally had to go in and have her yearly physical done. When Dr. Jones remarked on her extraordinarily ruddy complexion, Sally replied, “High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family.” “Your mother’s side or your father’s?” Dr. Jones inquired. “Neither,” Sally replied. “It’s from my husbands family.” “Oh, come now,” Dr. Jones said. “How […] More

  • New Hearing Aid

    Having lost most of his hearing a number of years ago, this elderly man goes to the doctor to be fitted with hearing aids which promise to allow him to hear 100%. A month later, he returns to the doctor for a check up on his progress. The doctor tells him that his hearing is […] More

  • What he would like

    A very rich businessman asked his small son what he would like for Christmas. “A baby brother please,” he replied. “I’m sorry, son, there’s not enough time, it’s only 3 weeks to Christmas.” “Well, can’t you put more men on the job?” the son suggested. More

  • Well..

    A little girl went into her parents bedroom to find her parents in bed. “Well!” she exclaimed. “And you tell me off just for sucking my thumb.” More

  • Students’ behavoiur in different Classes

    1st-3rd: Hey! I studied everything for exams. 4th-6th: Hey! That question was very hard so I didn’t attempt it. 7th-10th: Hey! Studied only important questions. 11th: I think 4 chapters are enough to get passing marks. 12th: Which exam is tomorrow? College: Crazy guys! At least you should have told me that there’s an exam […] More

  • Broken Arm

    Two doctors were discussing a case in a mental ward. The first doctor asked what had triggered such a profound depressive psychosis in the patient. The second one answered, “He’s a lawyer. One day at home, he started to think about how much money he’d screwed his partners and clients out of over the last […] More

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